Listen to Triumph
Vante drives us home and we walk in the house.
"Did you take your meds this morning?" he asks and I nod. "Okay, good."
"I'm not sorry by the way." i say bluntly. "I don't care if you're disappointed in me, or even mad at me. I'm not sorry about what I did."
"You know what Mae?" Vante sighs. "I know you aren't sorry. And you should be. But schizophrenic sociopaths are emotionless. They don't care who they hurt, it doesn't effect them."
"I feel things. Anger. Sadness." I sigh back. "I've felt love before. Or what I thought love was. I've felt worthless. Confused. Betrayed. U-u-used. S-so don't even say that i can't feel things! Because I can!" i raise my voice at this.
"Mae, calm down. I didn't mean—"
"Yes you did." i say coldly. "It's fine. I don't care." i grab a bottle of water from the fridge and leave the room.
"Mae—" Vante calls after me.
I shut Jahmont's door and climb up the ladder. I snuggle in under the covers and close my eyes.
i don't care
yes you do
no i don't
you're gonna regret it later
no i won't
I fall asleep like this, arguing with myself.
•~•
"Mae, wake up. Its time to take your medicine." Jahmont shakes me. I turn away from him.
"Fuck off."
"Mae, ya gotta take your meds." another voice says.
"No." I growl.
"Mae-Mae!" Xylia jumps on me. Ok, OW. I sit up and she hugs me tightly. i rub my eyes and pat her on the back. Jahmont puts her back on the ground. He lifts his arms up to me and i back away, shaking my head.
"I'm too heavy."
"Bullshit." Jahmont scoffs. I hurry down the ladder and give him a smile. He rolls his eyes.
"Mae-Mae, mama made soup!" Xylia exclaims.
"That sounds yummy, Xylia." i smile down at her. She giggles and grabs my hand. She leads me to the table where Stokeley, Jahseh, and Michael sit.
"Mae!" the three boys cheer.
"Hey." i sit next to Xylia.
"Here." Jahmont hands me 3 pill bottles.
"Thanks." i take them quickly and Missy takes the pill bottles away from me.
"Mae-Mae, why do you have to take those?" xylia asks.
"Xylia—" Vante starts and i hold my hand up, stopping him.
"Well, I take them to help me feel better." I say quietly.
"Are you sick?" Xylia asks worriedly.
"Yeah, something like that." i nod.
"Good thing mama made soup." she smiles. "Now Mae-Mae can feel all better!" she giggles.
If only it worked that way, Xylia. If only.
"Yeah, she'll feel a lot better." Jahseh smiles widely at Xylia and glances at me.
We sat there in silence. Well, mostly silence. Stokeley couldn't stop slurping his soup and making Xylia laugh. Jahseh and I keep making eye contact.
"Mae, are you going to school tomorrow?" Michael asks.
"Yessir."
"Good." Jahseh cuts in, staring at me.
Nigga, tf you looking at?
"Can i be excused?" I ask, looking at Missy.
"Did you eat?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then yes, you can go." She says and directs her attention towards Jahseh, Michael, and Stokeley. "You boys staying here again?" and they nod.
I stand up and grab my bowl and glass and put them both in the sink.
"Mae." Jahseh says from behind me. I turn around.
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?" he asks and i chuckle.
"Hell no."
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Fanfiction"Alright. You can be mad." Lucas stands up too. "But, what your not gonna do to tell me how I need to talk to my girlfriend. You sure don't have room to talk Jahseh." And with that last sentence, Jah punched Lucas in the face. "Oh shit." Ski stands...
