Zuko's Regression

Part Twelve

The clearing their group had found was far enough away that Zuko felt relatively safe, even if the eclipse was now over. He knew just how painful it was to recover from burns like that.
Zuko carefully eased Lei off the back of the lizard and took stock of her.
The two fingers he had found in the ash pile were indeed hers, seeing as her left hand was without them. The meteorite ring around Zuko's finger seemed to pinch painfully against his skin at the sight.
"Lei," he said gently, placing his hand against her cheek.
"You set me on fire," she croaked.
"I'm sorry, it was the only way I could get Azula to let her guard down."
"She needs help," Ty Lee said nervously. She peered down at Lei's injured form from over Zuko's shoulder.
"See if you can find some water," Zuko commanded, "and any kind of food. She's very weak."
"Speak for yourself," Lei breathed. Her eyes fluttered and she grimaced.
"Don't try to talk, save your strength," Zuko replied kindly.
He quickly removed the top layer of his fire nation uniform. With practiced movements, he began tearing the fabric into strips.
"Can I help?" Mai asked quietly. She still stood a ways off with her arms crossed, but she was staring down at the pair of them evenly.
Conflicting emotions wormed their way into Zuko's chest. On one hand, he never wanted Mai to get anywhere near Lei. On the other hand, she had been so kind to him through his entire ordeal, and she seemed to really care about him. Perhaps her offer was genuine.
"Yes," he relented, tossing a large piece of fabric toward her. She came forward and crouched beside him, watching his own actions before copying them herself.
In only a short time, they had made more than enough makeshift bandages.
Lei winced as Zuko removed all the old, soiled bandages from her wounds. There were so many that it made him sick. How long had she been imprisoned somewhere in the house, bleeding and in pain and alone? He hadn't come to help her. He thought she was dead.
He didn't do as well of a job as Lei could have, but soon all of her wounds were freshly bandaged and Ty Lee returned with a satchel of water and berries.
Zuko sat Lei up against a tree and forced her to drink all the water. Lei ate the berries with relish and sighed with relief.
"I need something else, too," she grunted.
Lei described a bunch of herbs and plants to the chi blocker, some of which Zuko recognized the names and uses of, some he didn't. Even with fresh bandaging, Lei was going to need more help if she were to fully heal. Her skin was still a harsh shade of pink from her time spent in the heat of the flames, but luckily she hadn't been severely hurt by the fire. She was probably no worse off than if she had a bad sunburn. However, her other wounds were of much higher concern.
Ty Lee obediently set off into the forest in search of the medicinal plants.
"I'm going to see if I can find something better than berries to eat," Mai said before following the other girl.
Zuko and Lei were left alone in the clearing.
"How are you feeling?" Zuko questioned gently.
"Where the hell have you been?" Lei asked, her voice regaining some of the strength it had previously lacked.
"Lei, I'm so sorry." Zuko responded. "I thought you were dead. Azula showed me a room filled with ash and bones. I found your fingers and—" Zuko held up his hand to show her the meteorite ring.
"I thought I was too late."
"So you joined back up with your sister and the fire nation?" Lei spat.
"No I—"
"You told them Aang is alive! You told them about the invasion and the eclipse! You betrayed us!"
"I know!" Zuko cried. "I know I did. I'm sorry. I had to make her trust me. She already suspected, and she can always tell when someone is lying."
"If you thought I was dead, why didn't you just escape?" Lei huffed. "You didn't have to reveal anything to her. You could have run away!"
"If we really want to defeat the fire nation, we have to defeat Azula too. Otherwise she will find a way to rally the people to her and start up where the firelord left off," Zuko explained in a hushed tone. It was possible Ty Lee and Mai were still close. They may have left Azula behind, but that didn't mean they wanted to betray the nation entirely.
"I knew my best chance to defeat her was during the eclipse," Zuko continued. "Until then, I had to get her to trust me. Only without firebending and off of her guard did I stand a chance."
"You didn't have to do it alone," Lei argued.
"Yes I did," Zuko responded. "It's Aang's destiny to defeat my father. I understand now that it is my destiny to defeat my sister."
"But you didn't," Lei retorted. "You hurt her, but now she's just more angry and more dangerous."
"Defeating her may be my destiny," Zuko said gently, tucking a piece of shortly chopped hair behind Lei's ear, "but protecting you is my priority."
Zuko leaned forward, yearning to bring their lips together, but Lei turned her head away.
"I didn't feel like a priority while I rotted in a cell," she growled.
"That's not fair," Zuko whispered. "I thought you were dead. If I knew you were alive there would have been nothing to keep me from you."
"Really?" Lei spat. "Because from what I saw, you moved on pretty quickly."
Lei's eyes darted to the opposite side of the clearing where Mai appeared carrying a handful of small animals, no doubt hunted with her throwing knives.
Zuko's throat tightened.
"What did you see?" he asked carefully.
"Do you know what she did to me?" Lei hissed, her voice low but venomous. "She tortured me. Forced me to tell her things about you. She stabbed me. She made me kiss her. She would have killed me if I didn't teach her how to get close to you, Zuko."
Zuko's chest went cold.
"Lei—"
"And the worst part?" Lei huffed. "It worked."
"No, Lei, I—"
"I found those herbs!" Ty Lee cut off Zuko's stuttering excuses as she jumped down from the tree.
"Oh, did I interrupt—" her exuberance mellowed when she saw the expressions of the pair.
"No," Lei said evenly. "We're done here."
Lei refused to even look at him.
"Lei—" Zuko tried again.
"You should go start a fire," Lei snarled.
Zuko swallowed painfully, but stood and made his way over to where Mai skinned the rabbit-squirrels.
Mai said nothing as he approached.
"Can I help?" he asked with a sigh.
"She told you what I did, didn't she?" Mai asked, not looking up from her work.
Zuko picked up one of the animal carcasses and a discarded dagger from the ground.
"Yes."
"So why are you not trying to kill me?" Mai asked with just as much expression as she usually did.
Zuko didn't answer immediately. He focused on cutting a slit into the small animal's skin and peeling it away from the meat.
Why didn't he hate her? He believed Lei. He had seen the damage done to her with his own eyes. A part of him knew Mai was entirely capable of doing something like that. She didn't feel emotions and empathy like most people. However, Mai had been his childhood friend and crush. She had been there for him in his time of grieving. She had been kind and strong for him when he was at his lowest.
And the entire time it was a farce. She knew Lei was alive, yet she let him grieve and took advantage of his pain to get close to him. And Lei was right. Zuko had let Mai in. He didn't want to rekindle his childhood love with her, as even dead, Lei still held his heart, but he had been so afraid of losing Mai's stabilizing presence he had gone along with her advances. He didn't want her to question his loyalty and report back to Azula, but more than that, he didn't want to lose the only friend he had in a time he felt so alone.
Zuko had been weak, and now he had to answer for it.
"Because you are my friend," Zuko answered finally. "And I know what it's like to do horrible things and make mistakes chasing after something you want."
"Just a friend?" Mai asked, her voice wavering only slightly.
"I'm in love with Lei," Zuko responded. "I want to forgive you for what you did because I do care about you, but if you can't accept that, then I won't be able to."
Mai nodded but didn't respond.
A few minutes later, Zuko set a small fire and left Mai to cook the meat in silence.