Avengers + their Spiderson | Book 1

I can stop hoping

/This is an original oneshot by yours truly~ get ready for an emotional rollercoaster!/

Summary:
Peter just wishes the people
he cares about tell them what
they think, or how the feel
about him because he has
conflicted feelings... one
being that they dislike him
and the other hopes they are
still his friends. What would
happen if the first side took
off instead?

...

Peter always looked at two different perspectives of the ones he loves the most, he even writes their names and small messages for them in a small diary...

He saves small voicemails he makes to himself, telling messages to them to give to that phone number. They save but they never alert the number because of the embarrasement he bottles up.

However, Peter always felt like he wasn't trusted when they never told him what they thought.

He always think about the smallest mistakes he makes and tries to become perfect for them just to make them smile, he builds himself up and smiles to make them happy.

Peter always thinks that when he makes a mistake his friends would leave him. Or that he hasn't done enough, just to be the happy little boy for them... He even hears these small tiny voices in his head telling him that they dislike him but don't want to tell him how they really felt.

"What's wrong Mr Stark?" The boy with big brown doe eyes and curly brown hair asked, he had a worried expression on his face while the other just waved him off with a small sigh.

"It's nothing Pete, don't worry about it."

Hearing those words Peter scrunched his eyebrows together before giving a slow nod to the male. "Ok..."

When he walked away to his room he heard the voice in his head: 'He is disappointed with you Peter. because you aren't perfect.'

He then lay in bed thinking a bit, Peter's voices echoed in his head again. 'You need to be perfect, stop hoping then they will love you.'

It happened another day, Bucky was annoyed on something and Peter asked what was wrong. "Don't worry your little head over it doll." Peter nodded and made a small huff, he hated this.

And so?

it happened over and over the same responses... Peter even asked his friends in school, recieving the same response with 'It's fine' or 'Don't worry' or even 'It's nothing'

It hurt that none of them were telling him what they feel.

"Please tell me what you're feeling, so I can stop hoping."

...

Peter had written the same lovable messages he wanted to give to his family and friends, he also saved a few voicemails.

Until he couldn't take it anymore.

He voicemails were sent, the messages in his diary was out on the desk with the pencil... the window open, the bag taken with him.

"Hey Uncle Ben, do they really dislike me? even after all this time they never opened up to me..." He said to the sky while a few tears fell down his face, he bottled up the feelings he had... overthinking each small sentence.

"Is that why mum and dad left me then?"

When Peter took out his phone he turned it off and left it in his bag which perched itself hanging on the edge of the bridge.

The note was kept inside it while he felt the wind gently caress him while he fell down, it was reassuring him as though he could rest now... that everything was ok. With the collision of water, with it filling his lungs and it going quiet.

The distant silent splash was heard as he sunk below in comfort, this is where his friend Harley fell when it was too much for him.

...

It had been over curfew and there was no Spiderman being spotted, it was late at night... already at 1:00am.

There was no Peter in his room, it was quiet. Worry filtrated the room with the disappearance of the boy... The phone was off but there was something kept on Peter's bag... a small tracker that even he didn't know.

Tony hitched his breath and hoped nothing happened to the smaller boy. His suit formed around him while he flew out of the window and followed the tracker on Peter's bag before arriving to the bridge, he saw the bag hanging onto the ledge before picking it up and hoping it wasn't true...

The happy innocent boy would never do this.

He saw a small device attached to a note in the bag ontop of his spiderman suit.

'Please tell me what you feel, I may get the wrong idea so I can stop hoping.'

The device had a singular button in which he pressed, it played a few messages that Peter had said to himself.

Even the most recent one.

"Hey Uncle Ben, do they really dislike me? even after all this time they never opened up to me... Is that why mum and dad left me then?"

A small beep was heard before the message changed, it went backwards...

"Mm is it playing? Mr Stark worried me today, he didn't tell me what was happening or how he felt. Does he not trust me?"

again.

"I think that the other Avengers are growing distant from me, they are bottling up their feelings again."

again and again.

"It's playing right? well I still want to make them smile to make sure they still like me, I don't think they like me so that is why the don't tell me... so I studied alot and did extra hard in patrol today!"

Messages that Peter recorded to himself started to play over and over... and Tony knew it was true. He never meant to do this to the boy...

He went silent as a small shaky sigh escaped his lips... Then a singular tear rolled down his cheek, then he began to sob while his hands shook holding the bag in his hands, pulling them to his chest to keep what was left.

"FRIDAY... where is Peter now?"

"Deep in the water sir."

"Is... Is he alive?... or a chance?..."

"Sorry sir. Peter had died a few minutes ago, he has sunk too deep in the water."

At those words Tony broke down and cried... He lost the boy. He lost Peter.

Tony got up, holding Peter's bag with everything in it and with the suit still formed around him, he took off with broken eyes.

When the Avengers were gathered in the lounge expectantly they saw the bag and felt their heart drop. Understanding the signal... and on that day they couldn't sleep.

...

The next day came and it was silent, they shared to each other on how they felt for Peter's sake... but noticed that there was a voicemail for all of them by Peter... specified for them.

And when Tony headed to Peter's room he noticed a small diary on the table with all the small messages he wanted to send. He imagined the genuine smiles Peter would give while writing these.

The days went by and gone better for them, they remembered Peter every day and on how much the team got closer after that...

they were so thankful.

[END]