Resistance

Chapter Seven

            Seven

          “Sloane, wait.”

            I don’t stop walking. I keep my feet moving as quickly as possible down the hall, concentrating on the soft padding noise they make on the linoleum. To my right, Bullet’s claws creating clicking noises and I listen to that too, not daring to pay attention to the noise behind me.

            “Please, just stop.”

            If I stop, he’ll lecture me. Not only that, but he’ll beg me. The decision was obvious, despite Cole’s shouting. Everyone agreed, even Jack, though he was sad about it. I’m the outcast; the girl who showed up after being missing for months and can’t remember anything besides her own name.

            “Sloane.”

            Finally he reaches me. He grabs my shoulder and pulls me firmly to a stop. Bullet growls beside me as he slows and turns around. I don’t dare to look behind me. When he realizes that, he spins me around and my eyes turn cold.

            “Jagger, let go.”

            His arm drops limply to his side and though his body is tense, his face is concerned. His eyebrows are scrunched together as his eyes give me a look worriedly for some sign of me changing my mind. “You don’t have to do this. I told Cole I’d go. I told everyone.”

            I don’t blink. “And they objected. You’re worth something to them, Jagger. It’s my fault we’re constantly hearing the banging-“ I gesture to a set of doors down the hall where zombies are shoving themselves against the metal, trying to get in. “-the pounding. It’s driving everyone insane and it’s time that I fix this mess I’ve made.”

            He turns his eyes away and shakes his head in disbelief. He runs his fingers angrily through his hair and then jerks to meet my gaze again, his face filled with a mix between anger and frustration. “You can’t even remember your name, Sloane. You couldn’t possibly make a mess of anything.”

            I exhale through noisily, blowing air through my tightly closed lips. I break eye-contact and look towards the doors, listening to the sound of the melting being hit. There’s nothing I can say to Jagger to make this okay and there’s nothing he can say to me to make me not create a distraction.

            I’ll admit I’m scared to go out there. But far less than any of these kids. They all have memories, lives that they don’t want to lose. I, on the other hand, don’t know more than a small number of things about mine.

            “Sloane, you aren’t going to do this.”           I don’t respond. Fighting with him is going to get nowhere and I’d rather him think that I’m not responding because he’s right than the opposite. If I have to make him think I’m staying here in order to make him okay with this, I will. But then I’ll sneak out when he’s asleep.

            “Look at me.”

            I don’t know why he cares so much. He has no reason to and even if he did, I’m clearly not the same person he might have known before. How can I be myself, if I don’t know who myself is?

            He gently grabs my chin with his fingertips and turns my head so I’m looking into his eyes. He’s no longer angry, but back to concern.

            “Why do you care so much?” I whisper. “Why is it such a big deal to you that I don’t go out there to save us?”

            “We’re all survivors, and I don’t want to lose you. Believe it or not, no one else wants to, either.”