Resistance

Chapter Eighteen

Seventeen

          “It’s okay, Sloane,” Jagger murmurs, kissing my forehead. His lips press against my skin and linger there for a few moments. “I’m sure everything is fine.”

            I move slightly in his lap, trying to get more comfortable. When I am, I rest my head against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. “But he just seems so distant, like he’s purposely lashing out at me and my mother to push himself further away. I don’t know what’s going on.” Jagger puts his arms around me and hugs me into him. “Last night he even freaked out at Sadie, and she’s younger than me. How can you hurt a little girl like that?”

            Jagger is silent and when I look up, I see he’s staring across the basement, looking out the window at the grass. He looks unhappy.

            “He probably has his reasons,” he settles on after a few minutes.

            I try to meet his eyes, confused about how he’s siding with my father, even if he’s trying not to. “And that’s an excuse to separate himself from his family? From his children?”

            Jagger won’t look at me. “I don’t know what to tell you, Sloane. Maybe it is.”

☣

            Nobody sleeps well throughout the night. Between Cole’s crying and the screams when he wakes up from a nightmare, only to realize that Emily is still gone, and the little toddlers cries every time it happens, it’s a restless night.

            By the time morning comes, everyone is back to sleeping, finally getting some shuteye in as the sun starts to creep it’s way up over the horizon. I, on the other hand, am wide awake, running over every single thing in my mind.

            When I become to fidgety to sit in the passenger seat of the Hummer I quietly make my way outside and hold my shotgun tightly in my right hand. When I see Bullet wide away, panting in the trunk, I open it and let him out too.

            For a bit we just walk slowly across the dusty ground, letting the sun warm my face. I look around, trying to figure out what I can do without going into the gas station, which has seemed taboo ever since Emily was locked in the back room.

            Her words seep back into my head about how she said the place was fine when in reality, she never actually checked if the back room was safe. In the end, it caused her to die. But she also had a bite that no one knew about, so would she have died anyway?

            I lower until I’m sitting on the remaining concrete of the gas station pumps. One of them is still left standing while the rest are who knows where, no longer existing here. Only a few metal beams stay stuck in the concrete, growing into the air.

            Bullet sits on the pavement a few meters away, panting. His tongue is hanging lazily out of his mouth and as I rest my chin in my palm and my elbow on my knee, I watch him. I still have no idea how we have this bond, as if we’ve known each other forever. I’m completely comfortable with him, as he is with me, and somehow he’s much, much smarter than most dogs, as if he was trained.

            I haven’t had a memory of him so I watch him, meeting his eyes and trying to push one to the surface.

            I get nothing.

            I hear a sound and look up. Cole is gently shutting the door of the Hummer and turning away, raising his eyes towards the sky but lowering his head. His shoulders are hunched and I wonder how he must feel, waking up to find that Emily is still gone and that he still has to make a decision.