Chapter 1

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*Tw self harm*
Virgil's pov.

I suddenly wake up in a cold sweat, I place my hands on my chest in an attempt to steady my breathing.
Another nightmare.great.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by a sharp pain in my stomac,I'm Hungry. I haven't eaten in about... 3 days now and I know it's unhealthy but maybe if I wasn't so fat the others might actually start to like me.

I slowly role off my bed and grab the hoodie I had thrown on the floor earlier this morning and put it on. I walk over to my dressing table to check my makeup, ugly I think to myself before applying a couple more layers of eyeshadow. Sighing I look up to the ceiling and back down, time to face them I guess.

I slowly walk over to my bedroom door and place my ear to it to listen for signs of life. After waiting a minute and not hearing anything I slowly open the door and cringe at the sound it makes, peaking my head out the door I notice the hallways empty and silent. They must be in the common room watching a movie or something, without me like always.

I step out fully into the hallway and quietly make my way down the hall and towards the kitchen. Once there I walk over to the cupboards and grab a small water and energy bar. Got to watch the calories don't want to get even more fat then I already am.

"What are you doing there brad pitiful?"

Jumping slightly I turn to see roman standing in the door with Logan and Patton behind him,
"Just getting something to eat, what's it to you?" I question tiredly. I don't have the energy to deal with him right now.
"Well we were just watching a movie and didn't want you coming in and ruining it with your negativity" he answers rolling his eyes as he does so,
"Well I was just getting something to eat so..." I trail of attempting to get pass him only for him to put his hand out and stop me.
"How do I know your not just lying in order to catch us off guard!" He screams waving his arms about and allowing hitting me in the face.
I grit my teeth together before growling out "Well your just going to have to trust me then"
"Why would I ever trust a dark side?!"
I silently look him in the face with tears filling the corners of my eyes. Roman almost looked guilty for a second before the look was replaced with a proud smile from the fact he just 'took down the villian'
"Why would I ever want to be like those monsters" I mutter just loud enought for them all to hear. Harshly I push past roman and run to the edge of the hallway only to look back and see the apologetic and confused looks of Logan and Patton, I turn back around and run to my room but manage to hear Patton say
"Wasn't that a bit to harsh roman?"

Once back in my room I fall to my knees and begin to cry. 'Do it u know u want to' I knew what the voice was talking about, when I lived with the dark sides I cut in order to feel some sort of relief instead of just the pain and sadness I usually felt.

I quickly crawl over to my bed side table and look for the blade, I knew I should of gotten rid of it when I joined the lights but I just coudlnt do it and now I'm half I didn't.

Once I feel the sharp edge of the blade I pull it out and pull up my sleeve. I take a second to think, do I really want to go through with this again 'yes you do' the voice in my head says. So I gather what little courage I have and make the first cut, I feel a small amount of relief so I cut again and again and again till I have 15 bloody  cuts littering my arm.

I mean back against my bed side table and sigh in relief, feeling content for the first time since I came here. My tjoughts tgen turn back to the others down the hall, ha The lights won't care, they hate me to much to realise what I'm doing anyways.

I was about to close my eyes to maybe try to relax and for a moment or two when I hear a knock on my door. Strange nobody ever wants to see me.

"Virgil it's Logan, I wish to discuss something u said earlier which has left me quite confused and I can't have that"

Logan.

I look down at my arms then up at my bed room door.
Oh no.
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I finally wrote the first chapter and I hope u enjoy it and let me know what u think, I would love to hear your opinions on my story.

-miyaalove1

~yet again the art does not belong to me full credit to the artist

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