Chasing Blue Eyes

The Breakdown of Kristi Gibson pt. 2

I closed my eyes and I jumped, fully prepared for whatever was going to meet me on the other side.

I felt myself falling only to immediately feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and heave me back up onto the balcony.

"Are you out your damn mind!?" I could hear my brothers voice in a panic as I just layed on the floor of my balcony cursing myself that my plan didn't work.

"You should've let me jump." I said quietly, and completely defeated, I couldn't even kill myself right.

"Killing yourself isn't gonna solve anything, its just gonna break everyone's hearts." He spat bitterly.

I didn't see it that way, nothing was going right in the first place, i'm sure my fans hated me anyways, I never responded to them, I never took the time to appreciate them, and now I wouldn't even have that opportunity because I couldn't even get into the studio.

I felt Miles help me up but I was still caught in my internal suffering, I felt like a walking ghost as Miles lead me down stairs and out the door, I didn't know where we were heading but I heard Miles phone go off as he held onto me with his right arm and answered his phone with his left.

"I can't talk now, I've got Kristi here and she's having a melt down." He explained to the person on the other end.

Miles sighed as he hung up the phone, "God Kristi you always do this mess!" He yelled tossing the phone onto the dash board.

"I never asked for any of this! It just happened Miles, you and mama were always pressuring me, to go up there and give it everything I've got, and when I do you wanna give me shit for it!" I yelled trying to keep my tears at bay.

"So killing yourself is the only option!?" Miles yelled his foot weighing down on the gas a bit harder with every word.

"What else do I have left!?" I screamed.

"You have me, i'm your brother!" He seethed. "How can you even say that!?"

"Oh now you wanna be my brother?!" I scoffed. "Slow down the car, your gonna get us killed!" I yelled seeing us zoom past other cars on the free way, we were nearing the Ambassador bridge, and I knew he was probably going to take me back to his apartment he has located in Toronto.

"Why? Isn't that exactly what you wanted a few minutes ago?" He yelled back still not letting up on the gas.

"Why are you the one that's so angry!?" I questioned.

"Do you really have to ask that?" He laughed bitterly, "You blame everyone for your own mistakes instead of owning up to them, and now when you do face them, you want to just end it all? Life doesn't work like that Clarity!" He said his grip on the steering wheel tightening with every word he spoke.

"So what's your plan then? Take me to your apartment? Hold me hostage?" I laughed coyly. "Stop trying to fix me, i'm already broken." I muttered to myself.

"No, i'm actually taking you to rehab, I know a place near my house that offers services, you need help Clarity." He said looking at me to see my reaction while trying to keep his focus on the road.

My face twisted into one of sheer panic, he could not possibly be serious right?

"No i'm not going!" I yelled, "Stop the car!" 

"You have no control over this, i'm sure mom would agree-"

"No No No NO, I'm not going to some damn asylum for they can inject drugs in me!" I screamed reaching over to the steering wheel trying to get him to pull the car over.