I slept over at his house, Matthew was breaking my heart. Every so often he would cry and I crawled over to hug him. The worst was late at night, maybe 2:30, and he started screaming his throat out, he was still asleep and tears were running down his face. He was screaming his grandfathers name and I had to shake him awake.
He jerked his eyes open and bolted up right. He looked over at me and his eyes were terrified and filled with sadness. "I'm- I'm sorry I'll go back to bed." I grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled him into a hug. He seemed grateful for the contact and he immediately hugged me back. "I miss him Evie, I don't know what to do." I rubbed his back with my fingers and told him the only thing I could. "It gets better."
He nodded and let me go. Running a hand through his hair he grabbed a cigaret off his nightstand and set it in his mouth. "I'll be back." He promised and went outside to finish his smoke. I laid back in bed and I felt terrible. Matthew probably just lost the closet person to him and I'm not even doing anything to make him feel better. But how? How do I make him see that I am here for him?
He came back in later and I knew how to help him. I knew how I felt when my grandmother died and I knew that I wanted to try to forget everything that happened. I wanted to feel loved. I put on my pants as Matthew walked in. "What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes are red and he looks like a mess. I shrugged on Matthews jacket and grabbed his hand. "We are going somewhere special." I told him and he nodded.
Matthew is already some what dressed, sweat pants, white shirt and a leather jacket. I'm still in my t shirt and blue jeans that I was wearing when I first arrived at Matthew's. We walked to a place that was my favorite get away. I discovered this place when I was looking for inspiration for a story and I stumbled upon this place of beauty.
Matthews tears dried when I led him to a tiny pond with a board walk. He smiled a little and I gripped his hand harder, telling him that it was okay. I walked him over to the pond and we sat on the edge of the board walk and our feet almost touched the tip of the water. "I love it here. It reminds me of my brother." I let go of his hand and placed the tip of my finger against the water and it made a soft ripple.
I brought my hand back up to the board walk and Matt instantly and almost ferociously took my hand. I held it tight and smiled at him. "Tell me about your brother." He leaned against me and kissed my fingers gently. "He's probably the best guy I know." I told Matthew and he smiled. "Besides me." He laughed and it was good to hear him laugh. It made me smile as well. "Yeah, of course." He looked up at me.
"Is he older?" he asked me. I nodded and looked across the lake towards the darker edge of the forest. "Yes he is." I told him and I saw Matthews face turn a ghastly shade of white. "What?" I asked and he shrugged but something was obviously on his mind. It made me think of us, what he was thinking? Matthew is older than me by 4 years, in parent years that's like 10 years.
Maybe he's worried about meeting my brother or my parents? He shouldn't be, it he ever does meet them. He, I'm sure, would be great around them. "My grandfather saw the Rolling Stones in concert." Matthew said trailing off topic and into one that is surely going to make him cry. "I remember him telling me about the concert and how jealous I was. I wished I was older like him. They had all the best bands in his day." He smiled slightly.
"But the one band I would die to hear live is nirvana. Just one time, that's my dying wish." I knew the lead singer committed suicide and I know his name is Kurt Cobain, his name is known throughout history. Making his mark on grunge history. "I know that's impossible but it would be so cool." He leaned off of me and grabbed a cigaret. Two a day? That's not very healthy.
I took it from him and put it in my mouth. He raised an eyebrow that the moonlight was making me able to see. I raised both of mine and he flicked open his lighter. The light illuminated his whole face and when it flickered out it was a disappointment. I sucked in the smoke and blew it out in his face to tease him.
He smiled. "Oh, such a bad girl." He leaned in at smirked. I shook my hair playfully and smiled. "Oh you know it Healy." He took out my cigaret and kissed me. My mouth probably tasted like an ash tray but he didn't seem to mind. He leaned back and placed the cigaret in his own mouth and finished it off. "Hey!" I playfully slapped him. "What?" he asked the cigaret bouncing around his lips.
"I took the cigaret from you for a reason." I crossed my arms and tilted my chin up. He smiled and raised and eyebrow. "You wanted a smoke?" he laughed and I nodded. Matthew kissed my cheek. "You're cute." I rolled my eyes and stood up. I reached my hand out towards his and pulled him up. He kept his hand latched on to mine, our fingers intertwined.
We walked along the dark city, it's pretty downtown at night and actually scary. "Hey." A guy who's obviously drunk yelled at us. Matthew turned his around and I noticed the silhouette anywhere. It's Dylan. I gripped Matty's hand tighter. "Lets go." I whispered and yanked him ahead. "What's wrong? It's just some drunk bloke." Matthew stumbled along with me. "Please Matthew please." I begged.
"Okay, okay." He kept up with me and led him into our bar that we met in. I ran my free hand through my hair and let out a sigh of relief. I led him to the back booth and we sat across from each other. Matthew didn't ask about my freak out outside and I wasn't in the mood of answering. I remember Dylan being especially physical and abusive when he was drunk.
He would have sloppily had sex then beat me until I passed out. The scars he left on my heart weren't able to be healed. Matthew grabbed my hand from under the table and I forgot about everything for that moment. It's almost like he would protect me, through thick and thin. We haven't known each other for a while but I do know that I would stay with him until the end. At least right now, at this moment.
But then Dylan walked in, and my heart stopped.
