I See You

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Category: Angst, Fluff

   —Hongjoong is getting distracted on stage, making some critics send hate towards him. It's harder to cope with his anxiety with this added stress, so the frustrated leader needs to let his emotions out—

I have based this off of the song I See You by Missio. Watch for the lyrics (in bold) that I use throughout this oneshot, then listen to Missio because they're great!
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Having dealt with a past filled with depression, anxiety, and insomnia, Hongjoong thought he controlled himself very well.

Debuting with Ateez had done wonders for his social issues. He had no trouble clicking with every member no matter the situation. Before long, he had put his struggles far behind him.

Until very recently, Hongjoong's stage presence was off-the-charts amazing and the fans were loving it.

These few past days, however, Hongjoong had felt extremely distracted. He wasn't as focused on the stage for some reason he could not yet name.

Hateful people were everywhere, but when some of them noticed how messy Hongjoong's performances were, the man in question was surprised to receive hate from them.

Things were rough now. Hongjoong hated looking at the critical comments about the group, devastated that he was the cause of them.

"It's alright to be distracted, Hongjoong! Don't be so hard on yourself," Wooyoung had told him when the young dancer had discovered a crying Hongjoong in his room.

Even Seonghwa and Yunho's nice words didn't make him feel any better. The rest of the members tried their best to cheer up their leader with memes and kind words.

"The only thing you can do is ignore them. Everybody has their off days, weeks, months, whatever. Don't let them get to you, Hongjoong." The leader told himself, trying his hardest to not break down and cry.

He sat on his bed, wrapped in his sheets, trying to stop crying. His heart was beating fast and his head was spinning. Hongjoong had just watched their most streamed video.

He was really only noticing the bad things he had done. He hardly noticed the good comments and seemed only to view the bad ones.

Hongjoong can't even dance.
Isn't the leader kinda distracted?
Lol why is Hongjoong so damn short?
Hongjoong needs to get his shit together.
What the hell is that short dude wearing
Omg Hongjoong looks so bad @2:07
Wtf is going on with Joong tonite?

The leader sighed and closed his eyes tightly. Tears still escaped from them, which soon turned Hongjoong into a sobbing mess. He covered his mouth to limit the amount of noise that filled the otherwise silent room.

☆彡

Mingi pressed his ear against Hongjoong's door, hearing soft, muffled cries that broke his heart. The younger rapper was aware of Hongjoong's breakdowns and hated for the usually energetic man to feel that way.

He cracked the door open to the point where he could see Hongjoong, and Hongjoong could see him. "Hongjoong..." he said, eyes adverted you the ground as he made his way inside the older's room.

The leader was curled into a tight ball surrounded by his bedsheets, tears streaming down his face. Mingi sat down, not saying a word, and wrapped himself around Hongjoong.

"Hey..." He said, only in a whisper. Hongjoong's sobs didn't stop, but he turned himself to face Mingi. "M-M-Mi..." he choked out through his crying, latching onto the other's neck.

"Shh. It's alright, Joongie. Let it all out."

It was horrible to witness such a depressing moment for Hongjoong. Mingi sat with the other until he had managed to dry his tears and go into a state of acceptance.

"I'm so sorry, Mingi... I didn't mean to pull you into this whirlwind of emotions and problems. But thank you for sitting here and trying to help." Hongjoong said, sighing.

His head was resting on Mingi's chest, their hands intertwined in his lap. "Hongjoong, you know I love you. And you know that I don't mind helping you."

"I'll always be here, when you cry, when you're shy, when you wanna die. When you chase all the dreams inside your head, when you laugh and when you love. Just come to me and talk."

Mingi said, making Hongjoong lean more into his chest. "Even when you lie, and even when you hide, you mean everything to me. I'm hoping that you will see yourself like I see you."

Hongjoong listened to Mingi's every word, taking in just how much the younger adored him. "And it's not just me. There are millions of fans out there that love you so much. You have to see them."

Mingi tightened his grip on Hongjoong, wanting to give him a sense of protection. Hongjoong looked up at Mingi, trying his best to smile.

His eyes were still glossy and red from crying. His lips were swollen and his head spun. "I know, Mingi. I just can't focus on the good things and I'm so sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize for that, Joong. I know you can't help it. So just let me be here to support you.." Mingi said, leaning forward to give the older a small forehead kiss.

The small gesture made Hongjoong's face heat up, and the smaller just gave Mingi a hug to hide it. Pulling away, he felt a bit more confident in his actions.

"I really appreciate all you guys have done for me. I'll come to you now if I have any problems," Hongjoong said, looking down to Mingi's showing collarbone.

He brought up a shaky hand and traced the younger's neck, all the way up to his cheeks. "You're so pretty," he said, laughing afterwards. Mingi smiled and ruffled Hongjoong's hair.

"You're pretty too. And I'm not lying, you have so much to be proud of. Those critics don't fucking know anything. You should only listen to me! I will never lie to you!" Mingi said, or, rather, aggressively stated.

Hongjoong smiled up at Mingi, who had a content expression on his lips. He leaned forward slightly to rest his forehead on the taller.

"Can I... can I kiss you..?"

The sudden question threw Mingi for a loop. He didn't know how to reply, so he just said yolo bitch.

Mingi's lips pressed against Hongjoong's in a slow kiss. Hongjoong's swollen lips were plump and salty, since he had just cried for half an hour.

Mingi trappend Hongjoong's bottom lip in between his, making the older giggle through the kiss. They finally pulled apart, not being able to keep their laughter back.

"I love seeing you so happy, Hongjoong." Mingi said, pulling Hongjoong down into the covers with him. Both of them smiled widely, Hongjoong's previous mood seemingly gone.

"And I meant everything I said, too. You mean everything to me."
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End 🌸

Word Count: 1150
Published: 02/22/2020

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