it happened three years ago. i finally opened up about it a year ago. i was deeply affected by it. i still am. i think i always will be. it's not something that you can just get over. it's something that you have to learn to accept and not hate yourself over. it's not your fault. it's never your fault. and you've just got to tell yourself that over and over and over again until one day, you wake up and believe it.
i am finally learning how to believe it.
i still vividly remember his big, calloused, ugly, harsh hands touching my skin. i still remember him saying, "it's our little secret."
of the physical scars he gave me: three. of the scars i gave myself as a result of what he did: fifty-seven.
i remember in biology class of my sophomore year i had learned that every cell in your entire body is replaced every seven years. and i think back to that now & think: how lovely it is to know that this will someday be a body you'll never have touched.
you may have hurt me before, but never again. and i'm not afraid to talk anymore. so here i am today, telling my story in hopes of helping many others who may have gone through similar things. you're not alone in this.
you are not what happened to you. you are not a victim for sharing your story. you are a survivor for setting the world on fire with your truth. and you never know who might need your light, your warmth, and raging courage.
national sexual assault hotline: 1.800.656.4673
