Not What I Expected

Part 25

She turned her back on the officer and walked down the hall towards where Nicole had been earlier, but she didn't find her there. She did however, see an orderly cleaning up a fair amount of vomit off the floor. She looked around and a doctor was making her way towards her with a little smile on her face.

"Are you Beth?" the doctor asked.

Beth nodded in response.

"I'm Dr. Burrows," she said, "Nicole has been admitted into the hospital. She is extremely dehydrated and she is unable to keep anything down. I can show you to her room if you would like."

"I just need a couple minutes," Beth replied, "Is it the room that you I saw you come out of?"

"Yes," Dr. Burrows replied, "Take all the time you need, Nicole is expecting you."

Beth smiled at the doctor before sitting down and leaning her head against the wall behind her. She rubbed her fingers against her temples, feeling a migraine coming on.

Flashback

Beth quietly let herself into Anna's room and slowly made her way to her sister's bed. In that moment she was filled with a gamut of emotions. She was relieved that Anna was ok, she was angry that Anna had taken such drastic measures, she was sad that Anna felt that suicide was her only way out. She wasn't sure what to feel, so she made a promise to herself that she would hear Anna out before she made any judgment.

"Beth..." Anna said in a quiet croak, "I'm so sorry..."

Beth reached for her little sister's hand and squeezed it gently while using her other hand to brush the blond hair out of her eyes. Anna looked so tired, so weak and so small in the hospital bed and Beth just wanted to take her in her arms and hold her. Beth was so thankful that Anna was still alive.

"What happened Anna?" Beth questioned, unsure of whether or not she wanted to hear the answer.

"I made so many mistakes Beth," Anna replied, looking up at Beth with sad, sunken in eyes, "So many, in fact, that even I didn't recognize the person I had become. I felt like I had no way out, so I contacted an acquaintance who hooked me up with enough cocaine to take care of the problem."

"Why did you feel like you had no one to go to?" Beth asked, feeling hurt that Anna couldn't confide in her anymore, "Why did you pick Nicole's house as ground zero?"

"That's just it," Anna answered, "I went to Nicole's because I had decided to tell her everything. I couldn't deal with the guilt any longer. I had promised myself that I would take everything I had done to hurt her to the grave with me, but then the guilt took over in the three weeks since Chad died and I knew I had to tell her. I had done some cocaine earlier in the day before I went over there to calm my nerves and then I did a whole little packet in the car in front of her house. The pain was too much and I felt that the only way to take the pain away was to take a razor blade to my wrists and call it a day."

Beth looked sadly into her sister's eyes and then leaned down and kissed her forehead softly. Whatever Anna had done, Beth was sure that it didn't warrant a suicide attempt, but clearly Anna could no longer deal with the giant skeleton in her closet.

"What did you do Anna?" Beth asked, "Besides the obvious..."

"I don't know how many times in the 14 months that Chad and I were together he threatened to go back to Nicole," Anna explained, "Which made sense, she was his wife after all. Every time that he threatened to leave I had to come up with a way to keep him. It was little things that kept him by my side at first, but the last time, I pushed the limits to see how far I could go to keep him. I told him I was pregnant and he changed his whole world and vowed he would stay with me and take care of me and the baby..."

Beth stared at her sister for a moment and tried to put together the pieces of the story, trying to figure out what Anna was getting at, but she couldn't.

"And then you miscarried," Beth stated, "That's understandable considering how much stress Chad's death had on you."

"No...that was a lie," Anna said so quietly that Beth had to lean in to hear her, "I thought I was pregnant...I took a test and it said I wasn't. So one day Jenny came over to tell me that she was pregnant, she showed me the positive test. When I had an opportunity, I stole Jenny's test and made everyone believe that I was pregnant with Chad's baby. When Chad died, I had no choice but to tell everyone that I miscarried..."

Beth stared at Anna in disbelief. The girl in the hospital bed was not her sister, or at least not the sister that she had once been close with. What could possess a person to be so cruel to someone else? Beth just couldn't figure it out.

"And if Chad had lived, Anna..." Beth sputtered, "What were you planning on telling him?"

"I would've still gone with the miscarriage story," Anna replied, "Look, that's beside the point Beth. I screwed up, made the biggest mistake of my life and I can't go back and change it. But that's why I need to tell Nicole the truth."

"No!" Beth exclaimed, "She doesn't need this right now. Unlike you, she is actually pregnant. Nicole doesn't need to deal with this stress right now, it could be harmful to the baby. She needs to focus on taking care of herself and her baby and Hudson right now...under no circumstances will you tell her the truth. This is something that you will have to live with...like you said, take it to the grave. I don't even know what to say to you right now. I never thought you, of all people, could stoop to this level."

"Beth...everyone makes mistakes," Anna pleaded with tears in her eyes, "Even horrible, unforgiveable ones like the one I made. Please forgive me..."

"I'm sorry Anna, this can't be undone," Beth stated, "I can't forgive you for this and I know Nicole won't either...I have to go."

Anna didn't even try to stop Beth as she walked towards the door and yanked it open. However, Beth will forever be haunted by the sobs that escaped from Anna's throat right before the door slammed shut behind her.

Beth rubbed her eyes and stood up and made her way down the hall towards Nicole's room. She stopped at the door and looked through the window. What she saw took all the pain and hurt that she was feeling away. Nicole was curled up on the bed, her head resting in Ryan's lap and she was smiling at something that Ryan was saying to her. He smiled down at her as he ran his hand through her hair. Beth knew that when they were finally ready to move on and take the next step, their love would be like no other.

Beth took a deep breath and knocked quietly before she opened the door. Nicole smiled when she saw Beth standing in the room and sat up and so did Ryan.

"Hey, come on in," Nicole said happily, "How's Anna?"

Beth closed the door behind her and walked over to her friend and hugged her tightly and kissed her temple. She wanted to tell Nicole everything, but she just couldn't bring herself to break Anna's betrayal to her. Maybe one day she would gather up the courage to tell her, but right now, all she wanted was for Nicole to experience some happiness.

"She's fine," was all Beth could say.

Beth sat down in the chair across from the bed and tried to ignore her sister's sobs in her mind.