Not What I Expected

Part 10

It was the day of their counselling appointment and Chad had decided last minute that he wasn't going to go. It had been a long two weeks since he stood Nicole up and spent the night with Anna. He was swamped with work on the Jansen case and he was overcome with guilt and confusion over what was going on in his life. He no longer knew what he wanted and he was wondering if it was even worth it to keep putting Nicole through this grief. He still loved her very much, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to keep getting Nicole's hopes up if he didn't even know what he wanted.

Chad picked up his phone at the office and dialled his wife's number.

"Hello," Nicole said on the end after a couple of rings.

"Hey Nic," Chad said quietly, "I'm not going to be able to make it to the appointment. Something came up and it can't be avoided."

"Are you kidding me?" Nicole shot back, "We have waited a month for this Chad! I thought you wanted to work through this?"

"I do," he replied as he twirled a pen in his hand, "I just can't make it today. Maybe you could reschedule it for a couple weeks from now, by then the trial will be under way and things will be hectic, but not as hectic as they are right now. I'm really sorry about this Nic."

"Whatever," Nicole said quietly, sounding unsure, "I'll see what I can do.

Chad opened his mouth to say something but he heard a click and the line went dead. He felt horrible, but he couldn't bear to come forward about his mistake. It would only make things worse for them.

Coward, a voice in his head said quietly. Absolutely, Chad thought, he was the biggest coward, but he didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had.

Chad looked up when he heard a knock on his door and his heart began to pound nervously in his chest when Anna walked in. What the hell is she doing here, he wondered to himself.

Anna closed the door behind her and then turned and smiled at him shyly. It was like she knew that it was mistake for her to be there, but she was unable to stop herself from showing up anyways.

"Anna, what are you doing here?" Chad asked her quietly, "You know it's not a good idea for you to be here."

"I know," Anna said quietly, "I just thought...after last night...that maybe we could have dinner at my apartment tonight...maybe have a repeat of last night?"

Chad gave Anna a look and her cute smile made him desire her more than he thought possible. His heart was torn and his mind was screaming at him from inside, but at the same time, every time he tried to ignore her advances or try to think about something else, he wasn't able to fight her off. He knew it was wrong, but there was something about Anna that just drew him in.

Anna moved in closer to him and before he could stop himself he reached for her hand and pulled her against his body and pressed his lips against hers.

You're going to hell, his mind screamed at him. Chad pushed the voice aside as he felt her arms snake around his neck. Right now, he didn't care.

Nicole was sitting in the waiting room at Dr. Mason's office when she got the call from Chad saying that he wasn't going to be able to make it. She was beyond angry, but lately he been somewhat of a flake. Chad had been breaking promises left right and center and it really hurt her that he was apparently losing any motivation he may have had to fight for their marriage.

He had called her on the Saturday evening, the day after he stood her up on their date. He had explained that he had had a few too many drinks with a couple guys from work and passed out when he got home. He apologized for missing their date and had rescheduled for a couple days later, and again, he stood her up. There were other promises of taking Hudson out to dinner and taking him swimming and taking him for a weekend and every time Chad never showed up. Nicole could kind of understand him standing her up, but for him to stand up his son, that was unlike him.