Not What I Expected

Part 23

While she waited Nicole noticed that she had a text message from Beth that she hadn't seen earlier. Don't come to work today, it's not busy and I've got it covered. You need a couple days off. Nicole stared at the message for a moment and then quickly typed out her response. Thanks Beth, I appreciate it. Meet me for lunch at our favorite sandwich place at 12:30?

"Nicole," the medical assistant called from the door way.

Nicole slipped her phone back in her purse and stood up and followed the assistant to the private doctor's office in the back.

"Nicole, we need a urine sample from you," she said happily as she handed her the plastic container with the bright pink lid, "Just use this and then leave it in the cupboard in the washroom."

Nicole waited until she left the room before she grabbed the container and walked into the washroom. She sat down and took the lid off the container and her mind drifted to the night that the little one growing inside her was conceived. She had been so nervous that night, so scared, afraid that she was making a mistake, but she realized now that this was one mistake she was ok with making. It was one last gift from Chad and the thought made her smile.

She put the container in the cupboard and washed her hands before she made her way down the hall and back into the office. She pulled out her phone, Beth had texted her back. Sure! I'll see you then.

"Good morning Nicole," Dr. Hayward said with a smile as she entered the room and closed the door, "I just reviewed the test and it looks like congratulations are in order! Will Chad be joining us today?"

"No, he won't be Dr. Hayward," Nicole answered, her voice filled with sadness, "He passed away last week in a very tragic accident. His funeral was yesterday."

"Oh God," Dr. Hayward gasped, "Nicole, I didn't realize. I'm so sorry for your loss. How are you holding up?"

"Every day is different," Nicole replied, "One day I'm up and then one day I'm down. For the most part though, I'm holding it together for Hudson and for this little one."

"Can I ask what happened?" Dr. Hayward asked as she sat down on her stool.

"He was drunk and while walking home from the bar, he got hit by a car," Nicole answered, her heart clenching inside her chest as she remember her last moments with him, "It was an unfortunate and tragic accident. The doctors did all they could, but his body just couldn't recover from the extensive injuries."

"Wow, that is just horrible," Dr. Hayward replied, "He would have been so excited to be here with you, I'm sure...Now, do you know roughly when you conceived?"

"It was March 1," Nicole replied without having to think about it, "I remember it like it was yesterday. But I'm just curious Dr. Hayward. You told us that after Hudson, I would more than likely be unable to have any more children."

"I did say that," Dr. Hayward answered, "After how difficult it was for you to get pregnant with Hudson and the minor complications you had during your pregnancy, the likelihood of you getting pregnant again easily, was slim. I didn't say it was impossible, just that it might prove to be just as difficult as your first or even more so, but clearly I was wrong."

"I guess it's true what they say," Nicole stated with a smile, "Pregnancy usually happens when you aren't trying. Because Chad and I definitely weren't trying for another baby when this happened."

"Well, I don't usually do ultrasounds this early in the pregnancy, but based on your past history I would like to do one," Dr. Hayward explained, "Do you have time for one?"

"Absolutely," Nicole exclaimed, feeling both excitement and nervousness as the doctor stood up and opened the door.

"Glad to hear it," Dr. Hayward replied as she led Nicole down the hall, "Let's go meet your new little one."

Beth sat at their usual table in their favorite deli and watched as Nicole flew through the door and rushed over to her. Her best friend looked unusually out of sorts and a little less put together than she usually did. Beth watched as Nicole sat down, looking flustered, with a gleam in her eye. Something was definitely going on with Nicole and Beth hoped that whatever it was, was the reason she had asked Beth to lunch, not that she wasn't happy to see her. Beth just knew that something else was going on and she was dying to find out what it was.

"Sorry I'm late," Nicole replied breathlessly as she threw her purse on the chair beside her and smiled at Beth, "I had an appointment first thing and then I got side-tracked, but I'm here now."

Beth gave her a genuine smile, but noticed upon closer examination of her friend, that her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying. Beth reached her hand across the table and put it on top of Nicole's, hoping it would offer some sort of comfort, because until Nicole opened up to her, there was really nothing else she could do.

"It's no problem," Beth replied, "I don't have another appointment until 2:30, so I'm all yours until 2:00. What's going on? It looks like you have had a rough morning and absolutely no sleep last night."

"I just spent the last hour and a half at the cemetery, sitting by Chad's grave, talking to him like he is still right here with me," Nicole said quietly, "I don't know if I'm in denial or what. Besides you and my parents, I have no one else to talk to and I feel incredibly alone right now."

"What about Ryan?" Beth asked curiously, "You will always have him. I don't think that man could ever abandon you again, even if he tried."

"That's the thing," Nicole replied as she looked at Beth with her sad brown eyes, "We aren't speaking. He was tired of playing "house" with me and I told him that I didn't want him around if he thought of me as an obligation or if he felt pressured to be a part of my life. He stared at me for a moment and walked out of my life."

"What the hell happened?" Beth questioned as the shock spread across her face.

"He got pissed off that I found out two days before he did that I was pregnant," Nicole retorted, "and that I didn't tell him. I tried to explain to him that..."

"Wait, wait...WHAT?" Beth exclaimed, feeling like she had misheard Nicole, "Pregnant?"

Nicole smiled a sad smile at Beth before she dug around in her purse and pulled out a picture and slid it across the table. Beth stared down at the black and white sonogram picture and her heart practically jumped out of her chest. She knew how hard this was going to be for Nicole, but she vowed in that moment that she would be there for Nicole and support her through this. She also vowed to herself that she would get Ryan to see that Nicole needed him despite the fact that she told him to leave and never come back.

"It's still early," Nicole said quietly, "I'm only nine and a half weeks along. But, was it unreasonable to keep this to myself until after the funeral? I had so much on my plate with planning and preparations. I didn't have time to worry and stress about the fact that I'm pregnant with Chad's baby."

"You weren't being unreasonable Nic," Beth replied, "I think Ryan was stressed out and tired and didn't know how to process the information at that particular moment. But I think in time, he will come around and I hope that you will consider giving him a chance when he comes crawling back..."

"I regretted it the moment he left last night," Nicole stated with a sigh, "After my doctor's appointment this morning I went to his office, but he hadn't shown up for work yet and I tried calling his cell but it went straight to voice mail. I left a message, but I'm not sure if he will call back. I tried to reach out and maybe I'll try again in a few weeks, but until then, the ball is in his court."

Beth stared at Nicole for a moment and could see the doubt written all over her face. That poor girl never learned how to hide her feelings, she always wore them on her sleeve for everyone to see. Beth hoped that with time Ryan would come back to her and offer her a shoulder to cry on or a friend to laugh with and depend on. She knew that all Nicole wanted, besides Chad being alive, was Ryan back in her life. Despite the fact that Chad had just passed away, Beth could see how much Nicole loved Ryan and she just hoped that there was a way for him to see that Nicole hadn't set out to hurt him.