Not What I Expected

Part 23

"Absolutely," Nicole answered with a smile, "Go play and I'll come get you in a little while."

Nicole walked down the stairs and into the living room. The scene took her back to the night before, only instead of Ryan, it was her mother standing there with the positive pregnancy test in her hand. The outcome, however, was much different from the night before. Holly turned to look at her daughter curiously before looking down at the test again. It was obvious that her mother was trying to process the information in her head before she asked any questions.

"Ryan's?" Holly asked cautiously, but clearly was having a difficult time keeping the smile from spreading across her face.

"No," Nicole replied quietly, "It's Chad's. We had a moment about nine weeks ago before he made his final decision to be with Anna and this, was the outcome."

"You aren't happy about this," Holly replied as she put the test down and walked towards Nicole.

"I am happy. We always wanted to have another baby before Anna was in the picture," Nicole replied, "I just wish that Chad was alive to be a part of this. This isn't how I pictured it at all. I'm a widow and a single mom at 35."

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry," Holly reacted, "I know he would have been so happy to hear the news. Despite his shortcomings Nicole, he really did love you so very much. He even told you that at the end."

"I know he did momma," Nicole whispered, "But we will never know if that love would have saved our marriage. We never had the opportunity to find out. I can't tell you how alone I feel right now mom."

"What about Ryan? Have you told him?" Holly asked, "I'm sure he will be thrilled!"

Nicole winced as the memories of the night before came flooding back in an instant. It broke her heart that Ryan changed his attitude so quickly last night. He went from sweet, caring and loving to complete douche bag in a matter of seconds. She barely recognized the man that had stood before her in her living room that night. She also remembered making it very clear that he had hurt her so much that she didn't want to see him again. She was wondering now if she had made a very big mistake. She was sure that Ryan was just as stressed out as the rest of them and it had been such a long day and he finally just cracked under the pressure.

"Ryan and I aren't speaking," Nicole mumbled, feeling extremely depressed, wondering if she was too late to make things right, "Things didn't go as planned last night when he found out. He cracked and got angry that I kept it from him and then I got angry and things escalated and now because of my hotheadedness, we are no longer friends."

Holly stared at her, speechless. All she could do was hug Nicole and rub her back. Nicole leaned her head against her mom's shoulder and a single tear ran down her cheek. She vowed, at that moment, that she would make things right with Ryan or at least she would try.

"Look, do you think you could watch Hudson for a couple hours?" Nicole asked after they parted, "I have my first doctor's appointment in twenty minutes and then I have something very important I have to do."

"Of course Nic," Holly replied with a smile, "You go ahead, I'll take care of things here."

Nicole kissed her mother quickly on the cheek and made her way to the front door.

Nicole got to the doctor's office with five minutes to spare. She checked in at the reception desk and then took a seat in the far corner away from everyone else. She felt sad that she was here by herself and she didn't know if she could mentally and emotionally deal with this pregnancy alone. She knew she really had no choice, but this was not how she imagined her second pregnancy going.