Not What I Expected

Part 11

"Do you think he is still seeing Anna?" Ryan asked curiously.

"I know he is, or at least I am almost certain that he is," Nicole answered sadly, "I just want him to admit it to me. I want him to come clean and I want him to tell me if our marriage means anything to him anymore..."

"I'm so sorry that you have to go through this Nicky," Ryan said quietly, "You and Hudson don't deserve this. I have no idea how your marriage is doing or was doing, but I'm pretty sure that you don't deserve to be cheated on. I wish I could fix this for you."

Nicole reached for the bottle of wine and poured them each another glass unable to respond to him. She wished that she could rewind and do things differently. The thing was however, that she had no idea what she did wrong to begin with, so she wouldn't know what needed fixing. It was obvious that her husband got bored and wanted something new.

"I wish you could too Ryan," Nicole said, her voice cracking slightly, "I guess he just got bored of me. Seems to be the trend..."

As soon as she said it she wished she hadn't. She put her wine glass on the counter and put her head in her hands, hoping that Ryan wouldn't see her cry.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Nicole whispered, "It was a low blow."

"It's not a low blow," Ryan replied as he moved closer to her and put a hand on her back, "But just for the record, I never got bored of you, not once. I thought me ending things with you made sense at the time, but for the life of me, it makes absolutely no sense now."

Nicole grabbed her glass and walked down the hall to the living room and left him standing in the kitchen. He had gotten so close to her and she had to get away before she did something that she would regret. She sat down in the big arm chair across from the couch and took a sip of her wine as Ryan walked into the living room.

"While we are on the topic of honesty," Ryan stated as he sat down on the couch, "I should probably tell you something."

"What is it?" Nicole asked, looking over at him.

"You know the big trial Chad has been preparing for?" he asked her.

"Yeah, apparently the lawyer on the other side is a hard ass," Nicole stated with a smug smile, "Which is fine by me. I say make Chad work himself to the bone. He is panicking because he knows there is no way he is going to win this one."

"I'm the hard ass lawyer on the other side," Ryan replied quietly, looking down at his hands.

Nicole felt like laughing out loud over this, but she refrained and kept her happiness to herself on this one.

"I hope you win," Nicole stated matter of factly, "I know the basics of the case and what Chad is offering is ridiculous for those poor children. I have a feeling that you will get them what they deserve."

Ryan gave her a smile before taking a sip of his wine and then putting it down on the table. Neither one of them said anything for a moment, then Ryan cleared his throat.

"I'm glad you aren't upset about this," Ryan replied as he stood up, "But I guess I should be going. Maybe we could do this again in a few weeks...maybe once the trial is over?"

"A celebratory dinner perhaps?" Nicole asked shyly, "If you win, I'll buy."

Nicole followed him to the front door and he turned to look at her as he put his coat on. He smiled down at her and for a moment time stood still and her heart flipped over in her chest.

"Sounds like a plan," he murmured, "I'll give you a call."

"Ok, I'll be waiting," Nicole replied with a small smile.

Without hesitating, Ryan leaned down and wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug. Nicole wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back, losing herself in the moment. He was warm and she could have stood like this forever. As she slowly pulled away, Ryan reluctantly let her go, but neither one of them broke eye contact. Nicole felt herself being pulled back into his arms and without overthinking it she flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.

Nicole's head and heart began screaming at her more loudly than she could handle the moment her lips made contact with Ryan's. The kiss felt nothing like it used to when she was with him years ago. 13 years ago the kisses were playful and seductive and now the kisses were ignited with a passion that they barely touched on back then. They were more mature now and had more life experience. The desire that coursed through her body as they kissed was unlike anything she had experienced back then.

She struggled with deciphering what her head was saying and what her heart was saying. Her head was screaming that the moment was wrong and that she was still married to Chad, but her heart didn't want her to let go of Ryan. His lips burnt against hers as she felt the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks, but she still didn't pull away from him.

Ryan's hands rested on Nicole's hips as her hands gripped the collar of his coat as the kiss deepened. She could hear her heart beat in her ears and she felt like she was going to lose control. Before she knew what was happening, Ryan had pulled away from her and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking, "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have pulled you into my arms."

"It's ok," Nicole replied breathlessly as she looked down at the ground, unable to make eye contact with him, "But it's probably time for you to go. I'll talk to you when your trial is over."

He nodded his head in response before he opened the door and let himself out, shutting the door behind him. Nicole locked the door and leaned against it. She slowly slid down to the floor and put her head in her hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down.

She was so confused with what she was feeling. She felt awful for cheating on Chad for that one sweet moment, but what was more confusing was the fact that she hadn't wanted to moment with Ryan to stop.

What had she done?