6-"Maybe I Do"

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    "Can you do dramatic readings of some of our songs, little miss drama queen?" Ashton requests.

    "I'll do one song, your choice," I answer.

    "Why Won't You Love Me."

"Okay, time to get ready," I shake my arms and take deep breaths, as I take out my phone. "Switching into airplane mode again." I tap on my screen, as I sigh dramatically. "We're not alright," I frown. "But I'll pretend," then I fake a smile. "Press my cheek against the glass." I pressed my face against the mirror. "Just be good till I... get back."

"The ground disappears." I say sadly. "I hold back the tears." I try to make it sound like I'm choking back some sobs. "I check my phone to see your face." I hold up my phone and expose my Calum lock screen so i quickly put it in my back pocket. "Staring back as if to say, don't worry, you wont be lonely." I say that last part in a low sexy man voice.

"Few drinks deep at a table for one," I say sadly, sitting on the couch. "The place we like to go and you take yourself home. Three missed calls at two A.M.," I make a fake phone with my hand and pretend to hang it up. "You say you never heard, you're late to get to work and then... the ground disappears." I look dramatically at the sky. "You hold back your tears. Your best girlfriend just got engaged. You say you cant wait and you need to make a change." I look down. "You told me its so rad to be lonely." I hug myself. "Why wont you love me," i fake cry. "We're together, all alone tonight... so HELPLESS from the other side." I get on my knees looking up at the sky again. "Can you tell me why my love, i hold on to you and you hold onto me. You imagine when you close your eyes." I get up. "You're with me on the other side. So why dont you love me."

Ashton claps.

"Thank you," I bow. "But don't tell the other boys about this." I blush. "Especially the Calum lock screen."

"Got it. I would not want to put you in a position where you're uncomfortable."

"Thank you. You're so chill to talk," I say.

"I mean it's because you're being chill," Ashton says.

"Hey, hey, I have another talent, wanna hear some art puns?" I ask him. "I told this artists his painting was horrible... I think he got the picture..."

Ashton shakes his head, laughing a little.

"Which barnyard animal is a famous painter? Vincent Van Goat... oh oh! Who else is a famous barnyard painter? Pablo PIGcaso!" I fake laugh, slapping my knee, as I do whenever I make a really good joke. Or a really bad one. And in this case, the jokes were really, really bad.

"Ha, haha," Ashton laughs sarcastically. "Where did you find these jokes?"

"The Internet," I answer. "I'm a failed artist so I settled for art puns. I used to have an art account but got no likes. It's okay though I can be over dramatic which makes you and my best friend laugh. I may not actually be able to act or do any of the sorts but I'm pretty good at... making playlists i guess?"

Ashton chuckles.

"So, tell me more about your crush on Calum. I promise your secret is safe with me."

"I mean I can have a crush on any of you, celebrity crushes. If any of you asked me to marry you I'd say yes." I say.

"See, you say that but you don't mean it."

"Maybe I do," I shrug. I don't mean it though. Physical attraction and some admiration does not mean I want to marry any of them, and that includes Calum.

"Then marry me."

"I know you don't mean it."

"Maybe I do," he shrugs and I playfully push him. "If Calum made the same joke, you'd be blushing."

"You're right..."

"Of course I am. Now what's so special about him?"

"Well first I used to be in your lane when I was younger and got into your music. You were adorable. But then... Luke's lip piercing. So for the rest of my first year I was switching between lanes. Then came Michael's lane. He was pretty cool, loved the crazy hair. So I was in his lane until like two years ago? That's when i really started admiring Calum for how he looked. Also the least girlfriend drama so the lane was chill. But I adore all of you and just meeting you guys is the best thing that will ever happen in my life."

"Even better than getting married?"

"I compare everyone to you guys, there's no way I'm getting a relationship, let alone getting MARRIED."

Ashton chuckles and says, "Maybe Calum."

I shake my head with a smile plastered on my face. It feels nice being able to talk to him like this. Maybe being myself wasn't such bad advice. They seem to understand their fan base and Ashton is really respectful.  Today is actually really fun.

    I do hope I am not making him comfortable. I want him to see me as a normal, cool, chill person. But it does not seem like he has found me embarrassing yet so I guess I am doing good for now.

"I'm just messing with you," he explains. "Your secrets are safe with me. Calum wont know. I actually really appreciate you being able to open up to me. It was a pleasure talking to you for the past hour."

"Its been an hour already?" I ask.

"Almost."

"Aw our time is up," I pout. "I really appreciated how easy it was to talk to you. And I want to thank you again for the advice on how to find my own path. It really means a lot to me. It was a huge pleasure talking to you and i look forward to talking again later today when I hang out with all of you guys again."

Ashton flashes a smile.

"Of course. Now,I'll walk you to Michael," he gets up.

I stand up as well and he opens the door, guiding me to the door across the hall.

"See you again soon, Ashton."

    He smiles and nods.

As his door closes, I turn to face Michael's.

I knock on Michael's door.

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