Androphobia

xxvi. lovers and murderers

"God," he murmured against my mouth. "Are you real?"

Soon, too out of breath to continue, I broke the kiss and looked down at him. I was panting and my face had grown terribly warm. Synn's hair was more than tangled and his lips flushed a wet rose-red, but it was his blue eyes in a daze that had me enraptured, clouded by something which rendered me helpless. I had never seen his eyes like this before. They glistened like water, like hungry oceans and the raindrops streaking the windows behind his back.

That was how I found my face buried in the crook of his neck and hugging him tight in the black of the penthouse. I couldn't bear to keep holding his eyes. They were so loud. They were saying so many words. Breathing heavily, I curled my arms around his neck tightly as he held me in his arms. I never wanted him to let go.

And then, his strong, tattooed arms came to wind around my waist and pull me further into his chest, our bodies moulding perfectly together. The heat of his chest came like a wave and I welcomed it upon my shore, flushed cheeks pressed against his shoulder and eyes screwed tight against him. I didn't realise warmth had begun to spill over my cheeks until I tasted salt on my tongue. I didn't mean to cry. I'd cried plenty already and yet here I was, my eyes an ocean of tears at the mere hold of this man and his summer-night scent.

"I'm sorry," his voice came beside my ear. "I'm sorry, little baby."

Sniffling, I wiped my eyes with one sleeve of my coat and blinked at him.

"Does- Does this mean you still want to be friends?" I croaked as a new wave of tears pricked my eyes.

"Are you saying you kiss your friends like that?" A hint of amusement hung on the softness of his voice as his calloused thumb wiped a tear from under my eye.

"Well, no, but..." Licking my lips, I eyed him cautiously. "Did- Did you mean everything you said?"

"Of course. Every word."

"Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked incredulously. His eyes widened by a fraction and he made a move to speak, but my mouth was already on a shaky course of its own. "All this time- All this time I thought there was nothing between us! I thought it was just me liking you. Do you know how many times I tried to tell you and kept getting interrupted? If you'd just- you should have told me! I was so sad and-and stressed and- it was horrible! Just horrible!"

"Well, preciosa, I would have told you sooner if you didn't decide to avoid me for a month."

[Precious.]

"Well-! You know why I did that," I mumbled, trailing off. "I still haven't forgiven you for that."

"I know," he said lowly and his eyes softened in the lights of the city. Bowing his head, he came to rest his forehead against mine and I relished the intimacy of his mouth mere millimetres from mine. "I know."

"Will... Will you explain things to me now?" I said, lifting my hope-filled eyes to his.

"I will. I'll tell you everything, I promise."

For another moment, he kept his forehead there. It was as if he were afraid to pull away in fear of his next words making me disappear. Then, he let his hands slide to my lower back before drawing his head away. In a matter of steps, he was carrying me over and setting me down on the kitchen island. Cold marble met my thighs and I tried not to shiver at the sensation, which was easy when my stomach was churning from anticipation of what would come from the man's mouth after months of fear and speculation.

Synn switched on the island lights, the rest of the apartment still drenched in darkness. When he next approached, my brows were furrowed in slight worry and so were his. His broad, tattooed chest came into view as he hovered above me, two hands resting on either side of me. I clenched my hands tightly.