Androphobia

iv. car ride

She's My Collar (feat. Kali Uchis) - Gorillaz

SYNN'S POV:

What was wrong with me?

I had agreed to wait outside the store while Thea gathered her things and made a phone call inside, but now that I was left to my thoughts, I felt like I was having an existential crisis.

I leaned against the glass window of the little shop, crossed one leg over the other and sighed a frustrated sigh. This wasn't good. This wasn't like me at all. Never in my life had I been so mesmerised by a mere eighteen year old.

When I had seen two fuckers drag someone into an alley through my car window, I was prepared to beat the shit out of them, no matter who the victim was. But when I laid eyes on the girl they had cornered, ice froze my mind over and every rational thought inside it. I hadn't hesitated to pull out my gun on one of them. To even think of taking advantage of someone so helpless, so evidently innocent - the thought cut through me like a serrated blade.

I raised a hand to my chest and shut my eyes. Slowly, my fingers curled around the material until it was trapped in my fist.

But what worried me most wasn't what she had narrowly avoided, but the way she had reacted: choking; gasping for air; clawing violently at her own throat rather than her enemies. Her actions were unnerving for a victim in that state.

Perhaps that was why I was acting in such a way. Something about the girl had me consumed with the need to protect, to ensure she was never put in a situation like that again. A bubble of violence burst in my throat as I reminisced what those men had tried to do and I turned my head with a grit of my teeth. How had she managed to make me feel like this from a single encounter? And all she had to do was look at me with those big doe eyes of hers for me to crumble.

It didn't help that she looked like an angel sent from the heavens. When I first saw her, it had been dark and I had only caught glimpses of her face under the streetlights, but as soon as I had heard her voice on that call, I knew I was a goner.

Her voice was a reflection of her appearance. Delicacy danced upon her lips, adorned her every word, turned her tongue into a silk slip as she tried not to stammer. Was she aware of how beautiful her mouth was? She had to be. I couldn't stop staring at her as she spoke, from her dark, glittering eyes to the petal lips that she traced her tongue over every so often. The contrast between her golden skin and the cream cardigan on her shoulders was something holy, and the teddy bears along her sleeves brought mortality to her touch.

She was a butterfly, a white butterfly. She glowed softly, fearfully, fluttering her wings and shimmering without a clue that everyone's eyes were on her.

But the thought angered me. It meant no one deserved to touch her. One wrong move and her fragile wings would fall into nothing.

How far was I willing to go for my greed?

My trance was broken as I felt my phone start to vibrate in my jacket pocket. Pulling it out, I looked at the name on the screen and begrudgingly accepted the call, raising it to my ear.

"What the fuck do you want? You know I'm busy," I said in my mother tongue.

"Jesus Christ, do you have to start every phone call cursing at me? Where's my hello?"

"Carmelos."

"What? I'm just saying," he replied pettily. "And besides, I wouldn't call you if it wasn't important. I wouldn't want to interrupt you and your girlfriend, would I?" His voice became mocking and my fingers twitched with the urge to wring his neck. "I'm kidding, don't kill me. You know I'm kidding, right? ...I'm being honest, it was a joke-"