"It hurts appi, it is hurting me so much."
She paused inhaling a deep breath to pull herself together, before she spoke again.
"It hurts me to see him unaffected. I know it's my fault that I fell for him but I never did it deliberately. It just happened. It was never in my plan to fall for him, my heart just did and now I don't know how to undo it.
It's not healthy. I know it's not but I can't do anything. My love for him has turned into a deadly disease which I think is destroying me as the days are passing by."
Controlling her sobs she met her eyes with Aamina's teary ones who were encouraging her to go on. To let go of the whirling emotions inside her so that she would feel a little better after sharing them.
"But now after today, I want to let it go. To destroy all the feelings for him. To set my heart free of all the burdens I have kept within myself."
Aamina wiped her tears and squeezed her hand.
"I wish I could take your pain away because I know how it feels like losing someone ."
"Correction, you lost someone who loved you while I lost someone whom I loved, not the other way around."
Taking a deep breath she sighed and gave her a sad smile and then closed her eyes feeling tired.
Silence enveloped them. Aamina was caressing her hair while Maria was resting her head in her lap with closed eyes, both lost in their own thoughts.
"Can you ever undo love ? Will I ever be able to forget my love for him and move on ?"
Maria whispered meeting her eyes with those of her sister expecting her to give an answer which will give her hope that love can be undone even when her heart knew the answer.
"If it is love then it can never be undone. If it wasn't love then you won't be affected so much. If it wasn't love then you won't feel hurt at all. If it wasn't love then you won't feel hollow when your beloved is not with you."
Aamina paused for a few moments trying to read Maria's expressions which were blank but her whole concentration was focused on her.
"I don't know if you'll be able to move on or not but I want you to. I want you to move on and free yourself from the feelings which are giving you nothing but endless pain. Sometimes it is better to let go than to hold on."
Kissing her forehead Aamina continued massaging her head to make her sleep. At least her heart will be at peace while sleeping. She knew the worst was about to come. She had to fight a battle and that too against her own heart, against her own feelings.
Aamina felt pity for the poor innocent soul. She was angry at her brother for breaking her and was all ready to confront him and their Abba regarding that matter but Maria knew her too well. She knows how protective Aamina was regarding her and won't leave Mustafa till she gets her answers.
"Appi promise me, that you'll not talk with him, or Taya Abba on this matter. I don't want to be the reason behind a broken family."
"But..."
Aamina tried speaking when she pleaded with her holding her hands.
SIXTEEN
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