HIS SALVATION

Chapter 18

Because she finally owned every little part of herself.

Until now... Until this.

Until this new world, until this new role (Queen for fuck's sake!). Until this lack of choices, and this lack of space.

Until Godric's anger at her smelling like someone else. Until his claim over her body.

Until his words that hurt like lashes on her skin... Until his teeth slicing the skin on the side of her neck and forcing his mark on her.

Until her memories, her past, her pain, her tears, her bruises, her feelings, her fears, and even the sensations on her body forced out of her and thrown at them without her say...

          Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Somehow, it feels like being thrown back to the cold hard tiles of the kitchen floor she used to bleed on.

It's the same feeling of helplessness, mixed with shame and hurt, and embarrassment ...

And so much vulnerability.

          They saw.

          Dios mío, they saw...

They saw what she kept hidden all her life.

They saw what belong only to her and should be shared, not taken.

And it feels awful.

And it feels violating.

Like being forced to see strangers sharing pictures of her nudity without her consent. Scratch that... it feels like being pushed naked in front of a crowd and waiting for their judgment.

Salem hates it, and as she did with Him, she wants her power back.

She wants to own it... this part of her they saw but don't understand. Her past, her memories, her pain, her tears, her bruises, her feelings...They are hers, not theirs, and she refuses to let them be forced out of her without her say.

So, when the tension gets too intense inside of her, and she feels herself shattering and hardening at the same time, Salem opens her mouth, and the words crash down like a waterfall.

"I could probably tell you all of the things I heard from people in his town," her voice starts.

Steady.

Flat.

Small.

But in the silence of the room, every word resounds like she is tearing them out of her and throwing them to the world.

"I could tell you how big of a shot he was in high school, how good of a Quarterback he was, and how promising his future seemed. How handsome, and charming, and popular, and good, and kind, and all that bullshit about him that I don't understand because I don't know that man," she shrugs, as if it's not a big deal - as if she didn't cry bitter tears for years wondering why she didn't get to know that man.

"What I know is that he met my mother during their final year of high school after a school game. It was a small town...like incredibly small, where everyone knows each other but she didn't exactly live there, so they didn't go to the same school. He was the son of the pastor, popular, appreciated, respected. And she... to everyone, she was the girl who grew up on the wrong side of the town. She lived in the trailer park a little bit outside of the city with her mother.