My One Shots

Woods

I go out into the woods, just to feel the terror of it physically, just to feel the terror of this love that's tugging at my throat and making it burn. It's so implicit that i don't see it or can grab it with my physical hands; no one can.

However, i find something bizarre near the stem of a tree, slightly touching the floor. I lean towards it and find myself amazed at how and who can leave a sketch of mine here, somewhere in between the woods. I look around--nothing, no one. Absolutely and utterly silent it's almost terrifying (like my love for you) for somewhere just as wild.

I frown at this sketch of mine. I shout at the sky, "hey! can you hear me, God? Alright, i assume you can. So here i go..." I sigh. "Please take it back from me, i can't go on with this life anymore."

"Shh! Look!" i hear myself reply to my own plea. Stopping to look at the paper, i find myself turning it backward. There's a note on it.

It literally speaks to me as i start to scan the words in my head. 'I love you, why don't you understand? Just, why? You have to love him, alright, okay, i won't, and i don't stop you, but at least don't talk to me about it. Don't tell me you love him, because it shatters me, damn it! I hurts me so, so much to realize you can't love me back, that you will never love me. But you know what hurts the most? It's not knowing someone you love like crazy can't love you back, it's not knowing they love someone else, it's that that someone else isn't loving them back. Dude, i'll go crazy. I can't. It's so much like a thorn at my throat, killing me slowly, depriving it of water.

'I.

'LOVE.

'YOU.'

"I'm so sorry," i whisper, as i realize the handwriting is of my bestfriend, though i never knew he could sketch. Beyond anything, i dumbfoundedly start to run out of the woods and into his home.

As i reach the main gate, i sigh and close my eyes to compose myself for what to do or say when i finally see him.

"Hi," i say softly as i finally, finally see him.

"H-hey! Is it really you?" He clearly sounds anxious. And me? I'm visibly nervous, i'm sure.

"Uh, yeah. I, uh--" i mutter. "Shit."

"Hey? Are you okay--" i cut him off as i hug him, leaving him stunned, both his hands up in a surrendering position.

By then i start crying. "Why didn't you tell me before?" i whisper near his ear, forcing all his attempts to pull apart to fail by holding onto him so strongly, so cruelly.

I can't face him, let alone look into his eyes.

"Please. Tell me," i so much as plead.

"What? What didn't i tell you?" That pisses me off. Not an overstatement.

I break the hug and look straight into his eyes after i wipe my tears off my face and say, "You really don't remember?"

He looks down. "Yea-yeah."

"My sketch. You drew it. I know. No, don't lie now. Just... stop."

"I--"

"No, you don't. You don't get to say anything. Not anymore. Not after all this time you persuaded me to assume you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"I wanted to--"

"No, you didn't. Please don't tell me you wanted to, now. No."

"Listen, please, trus--"

"You listen." I wipe my face with the back of my hand. "If you had told me before, i would've looked into my heart and known that all along, all the while, i'd been loving you and only you. I was just too stupid to realize it." And with that, i suddenly can't meet his eyes again anymore; tears start to fall in a stream.

He pulls my face up by my chin and says, "I'm sorry, would you forgive me now?"

"Would you forgive me, for not realizing it any sooner?" I sigh. "For hurting you so much." My eyes start to water at the thought of him so much hurt, and that too because of me.

"You know, you really did hurt me a lot. It's going to be hard to forget, but i'm sure i'll get over it one day. Will you forgive me if i take some time before i decide whether i still love you? I feel like it's somewhere in the back of my consciousness, but i still need some time. I'm terribly sorry. I just need some time for it to surface up again." I swear i can see a tear glisten at the nook of his eye.