Grey Street // H.S.

Dear Harry: I Miss You

Dear Harry,

Does it ever feel like the world is weighing you down? Have you ever felt like no matter what you do something else wrong pops up?

Yeah? No?

Well, that's how I've felt lately and I can't figure out how to make it go away. I think it slightly has to do with the fact that it's winter now. It's hard to function when there are only seven hours of light in the day. And it's been so cold.

You would think I'd be used to that considering the winters in South Dakota but it's a whole different story when there is close to no running heat in my apartment. I swear the heater is all for show. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking it's working and I'll sit next to it bundled in half of my closet. It normally does the trick for about ten minutes before my brain remembers that it's still freezing.

I've been struggling to get any painting done lately, which is frustrating in its own. With the amount I work at the café when I do get the time I simply stare at a blank canvas. I'm not sure what's wrong with me...

I talked to Ethan the other day. He told me all about fourth grade and also an extremely long story about this math problem that went right over my head. He said that he's made a few friends that skate. I asked him if they were hooligans (yes, that is the word I used) and he assured me they were not. I'm just looking out for the kid... I know how people can be. He seems to be doing really well but he almost refuses to talk about my parents. That worries me. I think he's trying to be brave.

I hate to admit this, and probably the only reason I am is because I don't think you're actually reading these, but I think about you... a lot. Sometimes I find myself wishing you were riding the subway with me or you were there when I got off work and I had to walk home at night. I know it's not right of me to miss you because I pushed you away in the first place, but I do.

I miss you.

-Ellison

P.S. Ethan asked me to tell you hi. I didn't have it in me to say we weren't speaking.