When I Can Tell You

Three

Byungjoo was away from Xero, he knew there was no way of getting to him in just a few minutes. He was across the world. B-Joo had gone to a country extremely far away from home with no regard for his brother or how he would be on his own. Although, he was far from the other, Byungjoo knew exactly what was happening with Xero.

Xero sat distraught in front of the mirror in his room. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he held the cold metal in his hands. "I'm girly," he whipered with his lips trembling. "I like fashion when I should like watching sports, I like dancing instead of soccer, I'm out of place... people hate me," he told himself with utter sadness and dispair written over his features. People had been ridiculing him, telling him aweful things, and causing him to feel inferior. And B-Joo wasn't there for him.

Seogoong appeared in the mirror behind Xero and almost yelled, "you are useless and dragging my reputation down! People will think I'm weird because of you. I can't hang around you anymore."

Xero became confident that what he was going to do was right. Byungjoo screamed while he couldn't do anything. He couldn't get to his brother as he raised the heavy, black metal to his temple. "NO STOP! XERO PLEASE!" B-Joo pleaded, but it was useless. Xero's tears just fell faster. And he began to shake. The whole room Xero sat in was shaking, and so was B-Joo.

In the distance the older boy could hear his name, and he thought maybe Xero knew B-Joo was there, but things were getting confusing and the room along with Xero vanised, and Byungjoo's eyes shot open. "Joo-ah? Are you okay?" That voice soothed the sharp inhales and anxiety the B-Joo felt.

"It was.... only a dream," he whispered as Hansol rubbed soft circles onto his back and pushed away his sweaty hair. "Um, I have to make a phone call really quick."

"Sure, do you want me to go into the living room to give you some privacy?"

B-Joo merely noded at his perfectly considerate hyung before pulling out his phone and punching in the numbers to reach Xero.

"Ne?" Xero's husky voice asked into the reciever.

"Are you um.... you haven't had... is Seogoong there?" Byungjoo didn't quite know what to say, he just wanted to hear his brothers voice to make sure he was alright.

"Did you have the dream?" Xero didn't have to ask to know why his hyung was calling him so worried. This happened every time they slept apart from the other. "I'm okay hyung, I promise. Seogoong is here and we played a shit ton of poker and made rice rolls and put some away for mom. Are you okay? What did you and Hansol do?" Xero knew it was always best to make sure B-Joo knew the other was happy and then distract him before they could end the conversation; it's what B-Joo always did for him.

"Ne, we went shopping then to a cafe, and when we got back to Hansol's place he insisted on me teaching him a dance, so I taught him last years competition routine. After that we watched a shit load of Harry Potter." Byungjoo's anxiety was already calming down and he was feeling more at peace after talking with his brother. "But I have a question? Did you um... have the dream too?"

"Actually," Xero sounded surprised with what his answer was. "I didn't. Maybe it was coming later? But usually I have it right when I fall asleep if you aren't there. I guess... I guess I trust Hansol. And I know how happy you are with him, and if an event like my nightmare were to ever happen and you were with Hansol and I couldn't get to you, I trust that he could stop you and be there for you just like I would until I, myself, could get to you." Xero admitted.

B-Joo sighed, "I wish we'd stop having these dreams every time we sleep apart. Because even though I've talked to you, I just... don't want to have that dream again, and I'm scared that... that if I go back to sleep..." Byungjoo trailed off not wishing to think of the possibility of revisiting the painful dream.

"B-Joo-ssi, you know Seogoong and I have nothing but laughs and happy moments. And I know you are the number one person on my team, but Seogoong is here for me too, hyung. Please just try to see it that way. And I know, that even if I am alone, a million miles away... I can still call you. And I know you'll answer. But for now get some sleep. Saranghae."

"Saranghae," B-joo whispered back before hanging up and taking a deep breath. It was only a dream, a cruel dream, but false reality. And the true reality was that Xero was okay, and Hansol was waiting in the living room... and he would have to explain himself... and that was not something the disheveled boy was equipped to do.

B-Joo pealed off the damp, white shirt that had stuck to his skin before walking to the bathroom to wash off his face. The roots of his hair were still damp and his body still glistened with sweat, but he was too tired to take a full shower.

The shirtless boy headed down the hall to find Hansol in the living room munching on popcorn with Harry Potter rolling across the television. "We only got through 3 and a half, but the 6th one is my favorite so I put that one on. I started it without you, but you'll get over it," Hansol smirked at the perplexed boy, sure to not miss his bare chest.

"Don't you... are you not tired?" Byungjoo stumbled over his words dumbfounded by his hyung's reaction to the previous situation.

"Ani." Hansol patted the spot on the sofa next to him. "Come sit, you're distracting me from my movie."

B-Joo shuffled over to sit next to the boy who was deeply emerged in what was happening on the screen. Cautiously, he sat close enough to where they were touching, and he lightly rested his head on the shoulder of the other. But he only stayed like that for a second, because Hansol moved forward to put the popcorn on the floor and the other boy's head fell. Hansol re-adjusted himself with his back against the arm chair and he trapped B-Joo within his legs before lunging forward to pull the startled boy to his chest. Before he knew what happened, Byungjoo had his ear against Hansol's heart and the other boy's fingers brushing through his still-damp hair.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here, Joo-ah... But if not, don't feel like you owe me any explanation because you don't have to say anything." B-Joo gripped the cotton material of Hansol's shirt in gratitude and let out a sigh of relief. Hansol was perfect, incredibly considerate, understanding, compassionate, and the one who was slowly stealing the heart of the purple-haired boy. Byungjoo didn't even know he was crying until Hansol moved his hand from the other boys hair to his back, tracing calming circles onto his bare skin. And somehow, Byungjoo ended up drifting off to sleep on Hansol's chest without a single dream disturbing his slumber.