RUWAIDA ✔️

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

She sat and waited for minutes that seemed to pass with hardship, but he never left his room afterwards. The pain she felt was obscure and tears filled her eyes. She'd never felt her heart in pieces until then. It was as if indeed someone had crushed her soul from within.

Seconds turned into Minutes and minutes into hours, despite that Muhammad did not show up for his meals. And when he did, Ruwaida had slept off on the living room couch. He looked over at her smallish figure as he adjusted his cap and then walked out to pray Maghreb.

Ruwaida woke on time to offer her prayers, and for the rest of the few minutes before pure darkness enveloped the skies, she sat in a state of anxiety, raising her head up to look at the clock and knowing that Muhammad had never stayed that late while he was home. If he does not show up by 9pm, I'm going to call him, she told her self. But when 9:30 ticked and he refused to pick her numerous calls, she knew it was all about the conversation they'd that morning.

It wasn't fair! He wasn't supposed to punish her like that! She felt so empty and alone. Ruwaida accepted that she was also wrong at some point, but they both had the obligation to accept their mistakes and make amends.

She heard the sound of the back door and in a swift she was on her feet. That was when her predicament stroke her. She had a sense of loosing control of her thoughts and emotions when it pertained Muhammad. She sighed 'what should I do' there was absolutely nothing on her mind and she decided to just let him be.

That decision never lasted for long tho. When she did not hear his movements in the kitchen again, she found herself standing meekly by his door, visualizing how he would give her a cold stare like earlier. But even with that discouraging thought, she pushed it open and walked in slowly, the colors of her dress flared sea-like in the bright place of the dim lighted room.

She stopped some few walks from the door. "Ya Turaad," she watched as he looked up for a split second and then back at his laptop. "Should I microwave the food and bring it here for you?, you haven't eaten,"

"No I'm not hungry. Thank you!,"

She bowed down her head, fiddling nervously with her fingers. She sighed exasperatedly and marched towards him, snatched the laptop and replaced its position on the bed, keeping it on the floor. "Ya Turaad please stop this, at least, not towards your meals,"

"I said I'm not hungry, and why did you take away my laptop? Let me work please. I'll eat when I'm hungry," He replied, inching downwards to pick up the laptop but Ruwaida beat him to it.

"Okay, I understand that you ain't hungry. But why are you ignoring me? Is this about Zarah? Yes I...I was just trying to make you understand. You should have listened to her side of the story,"

"I don't want to have this conversation," He shook his head and reached out for the laptop but she hid it behind her back. "Ruwaida...,"

"You aren't the only one who can get angry here okay!," she snuffled back the tears. "I don't understand why you should flare up just because you got angry at your sister and then everybody else!," she whisper yelled and Turaad could see, her voice had lost the softness it always carried. "Do you just refuse to eat my food because we had an argument? Are you now irritated by me that much?! Tell me!," she moved closer and clutched on his white tuxedo shirt.

"Ruwaida...that's not it, you don't understand,"

"Make me understand then, why are you ignoring me? Why Turaaad?!," She looked at him gravely, tears rolling down her reddened cheeks. "I don't see any reason why you had be behaving in such a manner!,"

"Your medications failed Ruwaida! I'm not in the right state of mind now...what do you expect me to do? Do you know how troubled I was sitting and hearing Dr Zainab say the chemotherapy failed? And then someone sending me abusing messages about my own sister!," He ridiculously was yelling too, and Ruwaida's grasp on his shirt loosened, a shocked expression superseding her anger. She thought it was postponed? Her eyes trained over the blue quilt she was sitting on, unable to utter a word.

Muhammad reached out for her hand and held it tightly. "Ruwaida are you okay," She'd heard that same sentence from him very often that now, when he said it, she felt as if that was what was missing from her day. "Don't worry we would find another way out, there are more ways to cure leukemia and all other forms of cancer. I promise you...everything would be fine...,"

That promise was bound to fail. It was a real promise, filled with impossible heights that can't be reached. She tucked her other hand into his, raising her head up and staring unblinkingly at him. Memorizing every good feature on his face. "Everything must not be fine to have it all in life...at least, we have now don't we? Even if the forever is missing," She smiled weakly at him.

He couldn't understand her words. "What do you mean it must not be fine? Don't you trust me," he seized her arm and hugged it behind her, constraining her to him. She moved her eyes back to him and was startled by the look on his face. He seemed as tho he was concentrating on an idea, yet with an element of remoteness in his eyes.

"I do. Just saying. We can't fight what Allah has ordained," He understood her now. She was under the grasses talking about death. And he wouldn't allow her loose hope that easily.

"We could find that missing forever by trying and praying hard you know," it was like coming to from a faint when he placed his head on her neck. She stood still for a moment, staring upwards in a sort of insensibility,the feeling she felt was unexplainable."we could make our forever with unfading memories, don't you agree?," Ruwaida closed her eyes and opened them, it became so hard for her to think straight.

"Yes?," she sounded unsure and a bit puzzled, creasing her forehead while trying to free herself from him. He lifted his head but still did not let go of her hands. Ruwaida's heart pounded so heavily when he inched closer and twas more of the reason that she now understood his words. Very much clearly.

It was a moment or two before Ruwaida could tell what was going on, and all she could remember was her succumbing to all the wishes she never knew she had.

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