He knew he'd be a poorer man for having met her and walking away. Physically getting on the plane leaving LA sent him spiraling and he almost let a sob escape when the gate keeper scanned his boarding pass. He covered it up with a fake cough sneeze. He had found when people were disgusted they didn't ask questions.
Men weren't meant to cry. They especially weren't supposed to cry over women they weren't dating when they were in a relationship with someone else. No, he wasn't dating. Not with his long time girlfriend walking in front of him down the ramp heading the plane. He was in a relationship of sorts. Clearly, as there she was taking a heavy right step as she pulled her carry-on behind her. He shuffled along with each step he seemed heavier, his baggage pulling his arms to the floor. He had seen a child earlier than afternoon that screamed and clung to a post at the front of the airport. That was how he felt. But his commitment to monotony drug him further away from the only happiness he'd known in 9 years. He felt like a man being led to the gallows by his own nature.
How was he to go back home knowing he had felt the sun for the first time. That he had touched hands with someone who cared for him. That his (lying, cheating) lips had kissed the lips of someone who brought happiness into his soul.
He wanted to smile through his shattered heart at the carelessness of the airline with getting his seat mixed up so that he didn't have to sit next to his girlfriend. He knew the flight was a fifteen hour flight, but this called for John Denver. He put on his headphones and with his phone on airplane mode set the Denver Essentials on repeat. It pulled him into melancholy and nostalgia.
John had a way of describing big feelings in regular ways. He wasn't understood, but those who listened to his words felt the meaning in their souls. And that's how he wanted to feel. To feel the words of John and the less of the leaving his heart in the states.
YOU ARE READING
Listen to the Casual Reply: A Collection of Short stories
RomanceA collection of stories of what was love, what might have been, what still could be
