Feeling lost lately

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I've been feeling lost lately. I got some bad news about my health. I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't care. No one else seems to but doesn't me I feel lost and wandering.

I have been watching some movies and The Starling on Netflix a guy tries to unalive himself after he loses his daughter. And he talks about how his wife is so strong. She loves him so much. She's so full of hope and good and love and I thought Dave was like that. He was like that. But it wasn't enough. Are there some people that are unequally mental health wise that are so unevenly yoked that they make it?

I am left crying. Wishing I could have worked harder. I have so much love to give and I don't know how to give it. I don't know how to share it or explain it or if anyone wants it or if it's
All mine for only me or what...

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