Two Can Play {Complete}

End Game Part I.

"I'm going to take a look at the baby to see if it's growing...." Dr. Chi put a pair of clean gloves on as I sat back on the examination chair and lifted my sweatshirt to expose my belly as well. She observed my vagina first for swelling, bleeding, and abnormal discharge. Then she put slight pressure on my belly, messaging it and feeling for the size of the uterus. She's been doing this for years, so she knew where she should feel. I watched her attentively. Her face remained expressionless before she looked up at me. "How are your eating habits Mrs. Carter?" she asked.

"They're fine," I shrugged. "I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables — nothing bad! Is something wrong?" I looked up at her concerned. It was an innocent question, but this was the first time she's ever asked me that. I did lose a few pounds since the last visit. She hesitated to answer me back which only elevated my worrying. Dr. Chi settled for nod.

"Let's listen in for the heartbeat," she proceeded. She grabbed the ultrasound machine and pulled it closer to us. Then she put the cold gel on my belly and turned the machine on. You could clearly see the fetus, but there was no sound, no heartbeat.

"IS IT ON?" I yelled frantically. Ignoring my question, Dr. Chi moved the ultrasound probe along my belly, holding it there in hopes that she could hear anything. Once again, no heartbeat. She took a deep sigh and looked up at her very famous patient. She tried to not be so blunt as she has been through this with me before I was pregnant with Blue. It pained her to go through this process again. It was all in her eyes.

"Mrs. Carter, I'm sorry, but there's no heartbeat," she stated.

"What do you mean? Just last week everything was fine!" My eyes began to well up with tears as I felt my heart sink inside my chest.

"I was concerned because the fetus had not grown the last time I saw you. Now there's no heartbeat. I don't want to jump to conclusions but—" I cut Dr. Chi off.

"It's another miscarriage!" I stared out into space with tears rolling down my cheek. That feeling deep inside was indeed my body telling me that yet again it has rejected another child.

"I didn't say that! We need to do some blood tests to check your hCG levels. I'm going to bring the assistant back in!" She responded, but that didn't phase me. Dr. Chi wanted to instill some sense of hope into this situation, but even she knew just as much as I did that this was a miscarriage. A blood test to confirm is normal protocol.

I didn't reply to her. Instead, I rolled my eyes and watched her leave the office. A few minutes later, the Medical Assistant came back into the room. She didn't have to say a word to me. Her eyes were filled with sympathy.  I looked away as she took my blood. Dr. Chi had an in-house laboratory, which allowed for same-day results. I waited another half an hour before I heard a knock on the door. Dr. Chi walked in with papers in her hands. I looked at her already anticipating the results to be what I knew it would be.

"hCG levels did drop. It is confirmed, Mrs. Carter," she bit her lip at me, nervous of my reaction. I was so full of rage that I wanted to tear this examination room up, but I held back. I tried to speak, but nothing was coming out.

When Dr. Chi got up and hugged me, that's when I lost it. I started to cry so loud into her chest. I was squirming around while in her embrace because I wanted to just fall out and die right there with my baby.

I was so distraught because this is the third miscarriage that I've had. The emotional reaction was the same as the others. That's why Dr. Chi knew she had to hold me tight because the last time I actually collapsed. Ironically, Jay wasn't there for those miscarriages either.

The internal pain was the worst. It was like my brain coincidentally sent an electrical impulse that traveled to my belly. The cramping began. The baby was dead, and now my body was trying to get rid of it naturally.