More Than Meets The Eye (Tyler Seguin Fanfic)

Chapter 20: His worst fear

And it happened, a week after Jamie had practically said his worst fear to the doctor. Both Jamie and Tyler gone on a road trip until tomorrow evening. The rain was coming down hard as i watched it from the large windows of Jamie's apartment. I had been fine the whole day, watched a few movies and even made myself dinner. That night I had crawled into Jamie's bed and pulled his fluffy white comforter over my body and snuggled into the millions of pillows that he had. I had lied there for two minutes staring up at the ceiling before everything came flooding into my mind. They where like flashbacks, the next one worse then the first. But there was one that caused me to almost be paralyzed as it played in my head.

Jamie and I where sitting on my bedroom floor, dozen of snacks scattered around the floor. My hair was pulled into a low bun and I had this huge varsity jacket on. Jamie had this shirt with the same logo as the varsity jacket. My phone lied next to me as we told jokes and threw our head back laughing. And than it was as if the world had been put on slow motion as my bedroom door swung open. My mother stood there screaming, practically crying. Her eyes red and puffy and her hair disheveled, she must have been running her hands through it uncontrollably.

"Mom!" I screamed in nervousness

"We have to hurry!" she was now crying, I had never seen my mother like this. My mother was as cold as ice, she would never break down like this... Not in front of me. "Why mom? What's happening?" She stopped and caught her breath for a second "Your brother" she managed to let the words escaped "Jamie please take her, meet us at the hospital"

When we had arrived at the hospital, i still had no clue what had happened. Jamie didnt either but he held my hand tight as we walked in. I didn't cry, how could i cry if i had not know what had happened? My brother? What could have possibly happened to him? He was at the rink at practice, he should be fine. I didnt know what to expect as we approached my parents. They sat in the waiting room chairs both their hands etangled, i could've sworn that if my mother had squeezed any tighter my dad's hand would've popped. I found myself squeezing Jamie's hand a little tighter, the look on my parents face was not suggesting that they would bear good news.

"Mom" My voice was shaky and weak. I hadn't even heard the news and I already wanted to crumble. Before my mom could even say a word the doctor had entered the room. He spared us nothing, he was cold, colder than my mother and I never thought that could be possible.

"He's dead. No blood, no nothing he died before the car even hit him. Would you like to come see him?" His words hit me like a dager. He spared nothing. I felt myself fall to my knees instantly but Jamie caught me and I buried myself into his chest as I cried uncontrollably. I never thought I was capable of crying that hard until the day. I screamed in horror, it couldn't be true. My brother dead? The brother who had kissed my forehead before walking out the front door for practice today?

Eventually Jamie was able to lift me to my shaky feet and lead me into the room. My brothers lifeless body lied there in the bed. His eyes where shut and he still wore this green shirt with his hockey teams name and his hair was still his hair and his hands still his hands and his lips still his lips. But he was no longer the same shade I had remembered, he was pale, he was lifeless. I collapsed to the side of the bed and sobbed. My shaking hand reached over and grabbed his hand. It was cold and the color was drained from it. I held onto his hand as i weeped, I found myself climbing onto the side of the bed next to my brother's body. I held his hand tighter as i rested on his chest, there was no longer a soothing heartbeat. I had a few moments before the nurse came and told us we could no loner stay. I held his hand one last time and kissed his head before fixing his hair that I knew he obsessed about. As my family left the room, my mother weeping into my fathers chest, i slipped off the championship ring my brother wore and hid it in my pocket. I needed this.

We stayed out in the waiting room as many family members crowded in, all with puffy red eyes and beat red noses. I stayed held in the arms of Jamie as I cried and cried. But Jamie, Jamie had only shed a few tears. He was being strong for me, that's how he was. No matter what happened Jamie had always found a way to be strong for me. I knew inside Jamie was falling apart, his eyes told the story. My brother and Jamie where friends since 3rd grade when they both got in trouble for releasing the class hamster.

The flashback had ended right there, but it did not disappear, I could practically replay it in my head like a TV show on netflix. But then something took over my body, it was like I couldn't control myself. I was being pulled from the bed and into the kitchen, the cabinet right above the refrigerator, the alcohol cabinet. I wanted to shake the memory, I didn't want to have this life.

I drank and I drank until my veins had more beer than blood in them, but i couldn't shake it. I couldn't shake the memory.