Didn't Know It Before( An EJ Caswell/HSMTMTS Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirteen: Thank You

She put a hand on my face, standing on her toes and kissing me, and it just made me feel that much worse. She thinks I'm this great person, this perfect boyfriend, and she doesn't know that I've invaded her privacy and lied to her face...more than once. I'm not the guy that she thinks I am and...she deserves to know.

I leaned against the shelf, putting my hands over my face.

This is bad...this is really bad, this is beyond bad, and eventually its all gonna come out and Nini is gonna hate me, because...I'm not the guy that she thought I was, and I let her down. I closed my eyes, only to open them when I felt a hand on my arm. I looked up at there was Megan, her eyebrows drawn together in concern. She's concerned for me, despite the fact that this all could've been avoided had I just listened to her and Ashlyn.

"Hey, are you ok?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I've really messed this up," I whispered, "Nini just gave me this whole speech about how I'm a good person and how she wishes she could be like me, and I have to tell her that I'm not even close to the guy she thinks that I am and..." I put my hands on my head as panic began to rise up in me. "I could really use a pep talk right about now, because Megan, I-"

My words were cut off by Megan's arms wrapping around my waist. She was hugging me. She was about five inches shorter than Nini, so her head only came to about my collarbone, and something about that was comforting to me. I could feel her warmth through my shirt and I hugged her back, wrapping my arms around her. Her hair smelled like Green apple.

"Its gonna be ok," She told me, her body vibrating against me as she spoke, "Yeah, it is gonna be hard, I can't sugar coat that, but eventually...everything will be ok."

I believed her. I believed everything that she said and somehow, despite the fact that I knew the time was fast approaching that the consequences of my actions would come crashing down on me...I really felt like it was going to be ok...because I knew Megan was there and was going to help me get through it.

If I wasn't confused before, I sure as heck am now.

~~~Megan~~~

We stood there like that for what felt like a long time, though I knew it was probably only a few minutes. But EJ was solid, and warm, and towered over me in a way that made hugging him feel safe, and his cologne smelled amazing and then I remembered that I was hugging him to comfort him about his girlfriend so I pulled away as logic kicked back in.

"I was just coming to get a book to read while Ashlyn studies for AP Psych, but...you could come hang out if you want. Give me something to do and get your mind off things." I suggested. He nodded and we turned, walking out of the library together until we came to the stairwell, where Ashlyn was waiting for me.

"You went to get a book and you came back with a boy?" She asked, with raised eyebrows. Then she saw the state of EJ. "You look...terrible."

I sat down, and EJ sat down beside me, his leg pressed up against mine. I scooted over in order to amend that.

"Yeah, I feel really guilty." He said. 

"Wow, that's not an emotion I knew you had." Both EJ and I looked at her. "Sorry."

"I never should've stolen her phone."

"You think?" She questioned.

"Its not the person I wanna be. Its not the person Nini thinks I am." I put hand on his shoulder, rubbing it. Then his face lit up as an idea popped into his head. "You know what I should do?"

"Apologize?" Ashlyn suggested.

"Well, yes, but first I have to come clean, and if I'm gonna own up to this, I need to do it in a way that she really hears." 

"Uh, well what are you thinking?" Ashlyn asked. EJ looked at me, as if already knowing that I could tell what he was thinking.

"You want to write her a song." I said, confirming this.

"Ok, hear me out. She wrote a song for Ricky, so I should do that. For her, I mean."

"You wanna do what now?"

"Write a song for Nini, to tell her the truth, and say I'm sorry."

"EJ, respectfully, have you ever written a song?" Ashlyn questioned. "I mean, have you ever even written a poem?"

"No, but you two write songs, I was hoping you guys could help me out." He looked at me when he said this.

"I don't know, EJ...and apology song?" I asked.

"Please." He said, the begging look in his eyes making me want to cry. I sighed.

"How fast of a turnaround are we talking about? I'm studying for an AP Psych test tomorrow."

"Well, could you just like, loan me one of your guys' songs and I'll like, change the lyrics." Ashlyn scoffed as the bell rang, putting her laptop in her bag. "Please, guys. I'm trying to do the right thing. I need to prove myself here." Ashlyn hiked her back up on her shoulder. 

"I'll send you a track I'm playing with. Its not really my style, I was trying to figure out the software." She stood up.

"No, its perfect."

"You haven't even heard it yet!" She said, walking up the stairs and leaving EJ and I on the landing. "Hey, Dig deep, ok? You can't just charm your way out of this one."

"Yeah," He said, looking back at me, "I think I've heard that before." His gaze  made me slightly uncomfortable, because I could feel my face start to heat up, so I stood up, grabbing my own bag.

"I'll be at Ashlyn's tonight. Stop by, and we'll see what you've got so far." He smiled and I turned to go to my next class.

"Megan." I paused, turning to face him again. "Thank you. For your help and for...for being there, and helping me...even when I ignore you and am a complete idiot."

"For the record you're not an idiot," I told him, "You just...you tend to do idiot-equivalent things when it comes to the people you care about." He smiled again, and I had to quickly turn and escape down the hallway before he could see me blush.