Didn't Know It Before( An EJ Caswell/HSMTMTS Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirteen: Thank You

~~~EJ~~~

We left rehearsal, and I spent the next 12 hours with about a boatload of stuff on my mind. Nini, and the phone and how...she's probably going to break up with me when I tell her the truth.

But also...Megan.

I can't get Megan out of my head, for a variety of reasons. She used to be so different. She was so quiet and uncomfortable around me and then she came to the auditions and it was like a switch was flipped. All of a sudden she's sharing her opinion and calling me out on my crap and...she's been putting up with all of it.

She's given me good advice, which I've ignored and for whatever reason she's still trying to help me. Even if this goes horribly wrong, she's offered to help me get through it, even though I did it to myself.

Don't get me wrong, I love Nini. She makes me want to be a better person but Megan...she sees me as a better person. She calls me out because she knows I'm better than this, and she makes me want to be better so that she doesn't see me as anything less, and she...I don't know. She makes me feel like I don't have to be perfect all the time.

What am I saying?! I have a girlfriend, a girlfriend that I am very happy with, why am I thinking about Megan so much?

And calling her beautiful!? What is that?! A guy with a girlfriend does not go around calling other girls beautiful, that's messed up!

I'm so confused...and it seems the only two people that can help talk me through it are the two people that I absolutely cannot tell.

The next morning, I got a text from Nini asking me to meet her in the library.

"Hey, I got your text," I said when I saw her, "What's up?"

She grabbed my arm, pulling me back in between the shelves.

"So, after yesterday, and everything with my missing phone and the rehearsal I missed and the dance break, I'm fairly certain Gina is trying to sabotage me so that she can have my part, so..." She crouched down, unzipping her backpack revealing a pair of metallic pink sneakers. My eyes widened.

"You stole Gina's shoes?!" I asked.

"It wasn't even that hard."

"What if she retaliates?" 

"Then I'll come back at her twice as hard. I will rain down hellfire, you understand? I am the night." It didn't sound menacing in the slightest. It also didn't sound like Nini, whose sweet and caring and would never do anything to hurt another person.

"Nini...I gotta be honest, this-this doesn't feel like you." I said.

"I know, it didn't feel like me, but I've stepped into the light. I play to win now." That physically hurt coming out of her mouth.

Because I realized that while Nini lifts me up...I'm pulling her down.

"I thought you'd be proud." She said.

"Yeah, but stealing just seems a little...low. I mean, you're better than that, you're better than..." Me. You're better than me. "You're Nini."

She picked up her backpack, zipping it closed.

"Alright, maybe you're right. And I do like that you see me that way."

"I always have." I told her.

"You're a good person," She said, grabbing my jacket, "And I don't know if its because you're a senior, or because somebody raised you right, but...I wish I had whatever you've got inside of you. Its like...confidence, mixed with morals and about a dozen abs." She chuckled, and I did too, despite the fact that her words were like a punch to the gut, "Thanks for being you."