A Whole New Life

Chapter 5

Parisian nights really were beautiful. The lights, the people, the tower. If only Adrien had any memories here in Paris.

If only he had any memories at all.

He didn't know who to trust. That evening he had shoved the pendants away, planning to investigate later. He had met who was presumably his deceased father's assistant, Nathalie. He had tried to ask how and why his father had died, but was left in the dark. He also asked about his eyes supposedly changing color and asked if the doctor knew anything, but the doctor claimed he had no clue, that it was a mystery.

He was sick of coming so close to knowing, yet being so far.

Adrien sat against the window, looking out at the beautiful night. It was really late, but he couldn't sleep. He'd had enough of it for a long time, the doctor said he'd been in a coma for three weeks. Three weeks had completely erased his memories leaving him confused and unknowing of who to trust.

With everything going on, there was something missing. Of course he was missing his memories, but it was like there was someone or something that couldn't be completely erased by amnesia. A small remnant, if you will. He wished it was the bluebell eyes of the beautiful Marinette, but he found himself with a different pair of eyes in his wake.

Beautiful brown eyes with gold flecks, pulling him into the black hole within them, the stars within her eyes having him longing to find them, longing to go to depths undreamt of. He didn't see much but her eyes and her warmth were buried deep into his soul, permanently etched in the back of his ruined mind.

What was he thinking? Marinette was his girlfriend, before it happened. The warmth of the girl he knew but couldn't quite grasp refused to leave, but he figured he'd try to make things work with Marinette, once things had settled down.

"Adrien?"

He jumped and his heart lodged in his throat, "What the heck! That scared me!" After the shock had worn off, he smiled when he saw Ladybug, who had jumped into his window, somehow without him noticing.

"What are you doing up this late, Adrien? It's 1:30 in the morning!"

"The better question is, what are you doing in my room at 1:30 in the morning?"

She opened her mouth as if to say something, and closed it defeatedly, giving him his right to smirk in his victory.

"I... I couldn't sleep. I haven't really been able to sleep hardly at all, ever since..." she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to. After only 15 hours of being awake he had grown tired of hearing and thinking what came after that sentence.

She muttered something and detransformed, leaving the beautiful exposed girl in his presence. She moved closer to him and reached for his hand. He hesitantly let her take it, and she stroked it, yet again reliving memories he would never have.

Tears began to well up in her eyes, and her words were thick when she spoke, "I thought I'd lost you, Adrien, and I know it's not your fault, but this is almost harder. Having you back, but... not really." Tears began to spill over and she threw her arms around him. When he took a few seconds to hug her back from the suddenness of it she backed away from the embrace hurriedly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to force things on you, you hardly know me anymore, and things are different now, but I just can't stand—" He hushed her with a finger up to her lips.

"It's ok, I understand," he stated, thinking about how it would feel to have a loved one ripped from you, only to be brought back without their memories.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do." His throat hitched and he looked away from her. He didn't want her to see the pain in his eyes, it would only make things worse.

They both waited for what seemed like an eternity, not needing words to communicate their pain. It took Adrien a minute to realize that he was crying. Crying for the memories he'd lost. Crying for the uncertainty that seemed to rule his world. Crying for the things he knew, but couldn't remember. His vision blurred and he collapsed to the ground, Marinette coming down beside him. His vision cleared for just a moment through the tears and he could see that she was crying too. Neither of them waited, they both knew. They needed the support when their lives were crumbling. So they wrapped their arms around each other, embracing tightly. They let their tears soak the other's clothing as they held on with everything they had. With the action those gold-flecked eyes came back to his heart. He tried to ignore them, let him be true with Marinette, yet they stayed there, and he knew that he had embraced whoever they belonged to like this.

The two of them sat there for a while, clinging to their existence, silently begging for it to stay. He pulled away after what seemed like forever, silently telling her to go home and get some sleep. She smiled weakly and transformed back into Ladybug, swinging off into the Parisian night.

There was one thing that had been there, teasing him the entire time. The warmth gave him hope, and through it all, he knew that following that warmth would lead him to where he needed to go. Until then, he clung to everything he had, stumbling over to his bed. His red puffy eyes closed the moment his head hit the pillow, his dreams full of those beautiful brown eyes that refused to leave, and whispers that it would be alright. Even though he couldn't remember, he doubted that he had ever had a more peaceful and restful sleep than that one.