The Chloenicles #1 [COMPLETE]

CHAPTER 24: My emotional rollercoaster #38279

If I nearly had to die in order to go, I guess everything I had been trough in the last couple of days had been worth it.
And I got to meet a real Queen and stuff.
Needless to say, I all of a sudden was really excited.
But I did not want Paul Herford to know that.
So I tried to contain my excitement and just let out a small, „Oh?" which I meant to have sound a little surprised but curious and intrigued but I guess I failed because Paul Herford interpreted my exclamation very differently.
„Don't worry, you don't have to come! In fact, the Queen does not want you there so don't worry! You can stay here until it's safe for you to return."
„Oh....", this time I actually sounded like I felt: Disappointed and sad.
Why did the Queen not want me there?
Why did she hate me?
She did not even know me.
I might be nice or something.
And then I got angry at myself because I had done it again.
I had misinterpreted the practical feelings they had towards me being here for friendship and care.
Stupid, Chloe.
But I guess staying here was not the worst thing in the world, right?
I mean, if Paul Herford and Miranda left I would not really know anybody here, well anybody I wanted to hang out with anyway, Leia even though being a bad ass and a Queen's wife and all did not seem like somebody I could be fiends with and Lars... I do not know man... the way Paul Herford interacted with him kind of made me think that he had gotten off easy in Miranda's recount of what had happened.
And maybe he would leave with them.
But I was still curious about the vampires and their society and everything.
And even though my time here might be lonely, I could still find things out.

Coming to think of it, the loneliness might be easy to handle for me too.
I liked being alone after all.
But still.
It makes a lot of difference if you choose to be alone or if it's your only option, I guess.
„I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for all you have done for me over the last couple of days, you know?", Paul Herford interrupted my thoughts.

Now I got really angry.
He could have written me a card or something.
Give me a flower arrangement.
Or, to show me his gratitude, let me sleep for God's sake.
This just showed me again, that thanking somebody, much like apologies, were more about the person who thanked than the person who was thanked.
„I really wish you could come with us....", Paul Herford continued.
„Well!", I said throwing my hands in the air, „I would have gone with you but if the Queen doesn't want you in her house, what can you do, right?"
He gave me a long look before he replied very quietly: „One could blackmail her for example."
I raised my eyebrows. „Like how?"
„Well... One could tell her that one wouldn't go if one could not bring you, for example....?"
I could not help but laugh a little. „I appreciate the gesture, I really do!", I said between giggles, „But I don't think you should do that."
He looked at me with wide eyes. „Who said I was talking about me?"
And after a short pause he continued: „And why not?"
„Because!", I gestured vaguely with my hands, „You know what I mean."
He frowned. „No I really don't!"
I sighed. I really did not want to get into it. „Like okay. So. I think the Queen would not be happy if you blackmailed her and you'd get in trouble. And I don't think... I'm... like... I don't think I'm worth the trouble. I can't do anything. I don't have special knowledge or know how beat somebody up! What would I do, really. Oh I know! Mostly be in the way. Nothing to blackmail a Queen over in my book."
Paul Herford stared at me in silence.

I could almost see the little wheels in his head turning.
He looked very.... desperate maybe?
What was his deal now?
I never seemed to be able to predict his reactions.
When he finally spoke he had this whiney tone in his voice again of which I still did not know if he faked it to get what he wanted or if he was just a sensitive guy. „But... Chloe! What am I supposed to do now? I have already told her I'd bering you no matter what and she is already very mad and yelled at me! And you want to tell me I did this all for nothing?"
This.

Freaking.

Guy.
I officially gave up.
I shook my head and had the strong urge to hit it against a wall or a desk or something.
„Why did you not tell me this in the first place? I would have gone!"
He threw his hands in the air and started crying again.
Oh, boy.
„Because I wasn't sure if you'd be willing to go to Europe with us! I thought if I made you mad and told you you couldn't go you'd insist on coming! I thought this is how teenagers decided things!"
„Excuse me, but I'm not a teenager! I'm a little older than that?"
I cannot believe that he thought that I was a teenager and I cannot believe that I used the fact that I was older as a defense.
I literally had not done so since my teenage years.
At a certain point in your life you are supposed to take youth as a compliment and be ashamed of your real age and not use it as a weapon, right?
„Oh stop you!", agitated he got up from Miranda's bed and walked over to the door, „You humans are all teenagers your whole life and then you die!"
Shit, I really seemed to have pissed him off.
Maybe I should calm him down.
No, wait a minute, he has pissed me off, too!
Why were his feelings more important than mine?
Because he yelled louder?
Because he was crying?
No.
I got up from my bed as well.
„Fine!", I shouted across the room, „I'll go with you! Happy now?"
One hand on the door handle he looked over to me: „Really?"
„I told you, I would have come without all this drama! Next time, when you want something, you should just tell me instead of playing mind games. I will be able to understand, you should give me some credit!"

Wiping the tears from his face he replied (in a voice that sounded weirdly deeper than his usual speaking voice): „No, Chloe, you should give yourself some credit! You helped me when I had a panic attack. You stayed cool during an epic battle of life and death and, no offense, you don't look like somebody who finds themselves in a lot of battles. And you are not afraid to speak your mind in the face of power!"
He walked over to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me deep in the eyes. „You keep doing that, do you understand?"
I had to try really hard to not roll my eyes.
I felt like I should have taken a knee for this speech.
„Okay coach.", I said as seriously as I could.
And, like somebody switched a switch, he went from serious, emotional motivational speaker to happy, carefree elementary school kid.
„Ah, Chloe, it's going to be so much fun!", he said while dancing his over to the door, „It's going to be so good to have another honest, trusted friend there with me!"
He opened the door. „And to think your self- deprecation nearly ruined it all...."
My what now?
„You mean my honest assessment of my skills?", I yawned.
„There is a fine line between honesty and self-deprecation, don't you think?", he warbled.
Before he left the room and closed the door, he put his head back in for a final: „Good night Chloe, see you in the morning!"
And then he was gone.
You know how some people exhaust you more than others?
Well, the scale should go from zero to Paul Herford.
With his ability to exhaust me he somehow took away all the energy that I otherwise would spent on arguing, or rather creating metaphorical room for me in the conversation.
But his mood swings were so disarming, no wonder he did not do anything to suppress them.
I guess he found his weakness and turned into a very useful tool.
If I had not been on the receiving end of it, I would have admired him for working that out.
But self- deprecation?
Me?
I mean yeah, sure, we've all been there but me saying that I did not know how to beat somebody up or how to, I don't know, turn humans into a different species, were just facts nobody could deny.
I sighed.
Enough of this.
Time to finally get some rest.
I laid back down and tried to focus on positive things.
I would go to Europe tomorrow.
I would meet a real Queen.
I hoped she had a castle.
One of those old ones they had in Ireland and Scotland, not one of those colorful fairytale ones.
I closed my eyes.
Maybe I would even get my secret layer.
Wait a minute!
I was in a secret layer right now, was I not?
I grinned.
Things were looking up.
Outside the door I could hear some excited squeaking.
From what I could make out, it sounded like Miranda and Paul had been reunited.
Moments later I head the door klick.
I opened one eye.
„How is Lars?", I mumbled.
„He is going to be fine.", Miranda whispered.
„Good."
I closed the eye again and finally, finally fell asleep.