Happily Divorced

(41) Ex-wife

"Or how much you mooned over the guy like he was this Rockstar back in high school," Andrei supplied.

"Puh-lease, he was attractive and he's in a band. He was half a Rockstar."

I grinned at her. "Well, he's not just half a Rockstar now. He is a hundred percent Rockstar."

"Can we switch topic?"

"Jett and Summer kissing underneath a tree," France and Andrei started singing.

"Hey, knock it off. Nathan might hear," she whispered.

I wave a dismissive hand. "He's tucking Ethan to bed. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, which reminds me, does he think this is all too sudden too?" Summer saw her way out of the hotseat and grabbed it.

Andrei snapped his fingers. "And don't ever think we've forgotten about the "bomb" that you dropped on us several days ago. My brain is still mulling over it."

"What now, Chassie George? You guys will return to coexisting peacefully while your insides scream war?" This came from France who was swirling his wine in his glass with a curious look on his face.

"I haven't told him yet," I murmured.

There were two scandalized gasps – France and Summer. And a dismayed sigh – Andrei.

I was going to tell him eventually. It has only taken me this long because there's too much disappointment going around. I just doubt I could handle them all at once if I see the same chagrined flicker on Nathan's eyes.

Not Nathan.

"Okay, what's going on, Chassie George?" Andrei clasped his hands on the table, the look on his face understanding.

"Nothing, really," I replied.

Summer scowls at me. "It's not nothing. You're still in love with the guy."

I shushed her.

They all look at me expectantly.

I was frustrated. Not to mention, emotionally distressed. But I press it all down and put on a smile that couldn't reach my eyes. "I'll figure it out," I made myself say.

They exchange glances, then made a majority decision to leave my answer be. Summer couldn't let it go that easy though.

"Chassie, why do you feel the need to keep to yourself? Not so long ago we were open to one another."

"Summer, we're still open about everything. This time I just have nothing else to disclose because I really have no idea what to do with all that's been going on," I sputtered.

She stares at me.

"Look, you guys, I want Nathan back. For some reason, I've never really fallen out of love. After all these years, I love him so much it drives me crazy. I try to meet other guys in the last few years, but I couldn't get pass the first date. But the thing is, I had no idea I wasn't looking for someone new. I was trying to look for another Nathan which is so ridiculous and frustrating because there's no one like him at all," I clamped a hand to my mouth and sighed.

"Honey, that was something to disclose." France chuckles.

I shake my head. "Not something I should keep thinking about right now. The thing that's keeping me rational is my column. My job is the only thing I know is right at the moment – despite my egoistic boss."

"Do you know this is the first time you talked about your job?" Summer's asks, her hand finding mine on the table.

"Is it?" I decided to play dumb.

She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Come on, we know you've been insecure about your career."

"But we don't understand why. We're just your friends. Not some high-class professionals," France says smilingly. "Without my trust fund, the restaurant would have never happened."

"I had my dad's money when France and I started business. We went bankrupt on the first year. Then my dad lent me more money and this time, my brother Cade did our finances."

'He's great, by the way," France enthused. "A little intimidating but he could be nice. He's like the big brother I never had." He grins, crossing his legs. "Anyway, are we ashamed that we started off with our family's money?"

Andrei shot up his hand. "Absolutely not. Just because we didn't get to where we are right now like most people do – their hard-earned savings – we are proud because it was our hard work."

"And don't forget about me," Summer chimed in, "my colleagues kept talking behind my back about meager teacher's paycheck because they think it's something I wouldn't relate to. Which is half true. And everybody in town seemed to talk about how much a waste of education I am for not taking interest in the family business. But I don't care because I just love teaching those little brats."

I laugh.

"See? We're still the losers you loved so much." Andrei shrugged.

"You guys are not losers."

"We're fabulous losers," France corrected.

Laughter went around the table.

"You're the bravest and toughest of us," Summer says. "You went out there all alone. I can only imagine how hard it was to raise a kid and forge a career, again, all on your own."

"I was never alone." I snorted. "I hardly felt alone. I always had Nathan and he always..." I trailed off, the words sinking in. "Oh, God, can I just talk about how much crap I had to put up with so my boss could read some of my articles?"

They gave me sympathetic nods. I spent the hour droning on and on about how I got the job. One and half bottle of wine later, they all hugged me goodbye. I was left with a glass full of wine in the kitchen. I dumped the last bottle to the trash. I sat behind the counter, staring down to the wine I was having way too much of.

I look up when a shadow loomed over me. I freeze when I saw it was Nathan. "I thought you guys were asleep."

He stands across from me, motionless.

"I have to give you back your laptop." I hopped off the bar stool.  I walked out of the kitchen.

Nathan silently tows behind me all the way to my bedroom.

"Thanks for lending it to me." I took his laptop off my nightstand, puzzled when I turn around and find him staring.

His baby blue eyes latched onto me firmly. They were dark with... disgruntlement. The contours of his face were hard and tensed.

He is gorgeous.

But he is also supremely pissed.