Learning To Love Him (boyxboy) (Completed)

Learning To Love Him 37

*****

*Corey*

I tilted onto my back before letting out a frustrated growl. Again, I couldn't doze off. It felt like the lack of rest should have caught up with me but the amount of worry I felt overshadowed any need for sleep. I wasn't just going to drop it. Something told me not to, it ate at me. The extreme fear, the pain I felt, the constant worry that the pull made me feel, all of it was impossible to ignore because it came from him. I could not just brush by it knowing he felt such turmoil but he would not speak to me. If only I had not been so rude to him since we met, he may have trusted me enough to tell me what was going on.

"Corey?" The soft whisper made me look over at the door confused. It was closed, but from the little bit of light that the bottom opening let in from the hallway, I could see that Jayden was standing on the other side.

I got up out of bed not bothering to put anything over my boxers or throw on a shirt before I pulled the door open as quietly as possible. Zeke was not like Kaden and Jayden, he was an incredibly light sleeper although a little less grumpy than Trent when he woke up.

'Why are you up?' I linked to Jayden as I stepped into the hallway and softly shut the door behind me. He opened his mouth but stopped when I answered for him, 'You can't sleep.' He nodded and grabbed my hand. I smiled looking down at our hands and squeezing his quite happy that he had made contact between us because I had been uncertain of whether he would have wanted me to touch him. "Come on," I said softly while beginning to lead the way down towards the living room.

Once there, I laid down on the longest couch and he sat down on the one-person seat closest to me. My hand felt empty without his, but I let it go seeing as he didn't really make a move to sit beside me.

We were silent for a few minutes as I wondered why he had come to my room while he just stared into the dark not making a move to speak until I could not take the silence anymore.

"I lied."

"Lied?" His eyes moved to mine. I licked my lip glancing away from him a little hesitant to admit what I was about to.

"Earlier... When we were... Yeah. I wanted to go further. I was planning to."

"But you said we wouldn't." He said.

"I know. I was going to try to mark you..." He was shocked, I would have been able to tell without looking at it but his face made it all the more clear. I was reluctant to continue speaking but what made me continue was the overwhelming fear that filled me, his fear. "I thought... I wanted to mark you because I was afraid you would... Well... dump me – sort of... for Finn... or someone else, it doesn't matter." I sighed shutting my eyes. "I don't want to reject you, I won't... But even though you can't reject me, I..." I bit my lip, "If I mark you, you won't be able to just leave. After everything, after how we started out... I just..." I drifted. It was so hard to admit. Me. Afraid. I deserved it, I guess after everything I had done to him.

"I won't leave you, Corey... At least not for my own sake." Jayden said honestly, "I like you too much for that." He admitted, "Even when you're an ass." The addition almost made me smile but his words caught me by surprise.

"Not for your own sake?" I sat up. What was that supposed to mean?

I watched as he fidgeted with his cell phone, twisting it in his hands but never making the screen light up as he chewed on his lower lip nervously. Eventually, he let out a deep sigh and didn't look my way from the phone as he cleared his throat.

"After my father left, or died as everyone thought, Joe wasn't the only person that supported my mom and me. One of my father's best friends stayed with us, helped us. I liked him a lot. He was nice, he tried to teach me how to play sports – you know how that turned out," I chuckled but it died seeing that he hadn't the slightest reaction to what he had said, "He wasn't anything like my father... At least that's what I thought..." I watched him closely as he took in a deep breath and let it out unsteadily. Whatever he was about to tell me, he was having a very hard time doing it. It must be a pretty serious story. His mood was making me uneasy. "About a year after my father left... I had gotten incredibly close to him, my mom had too so she didn't mind that he hung out as much as he did, thought of him as a replacement father figure, I guess. I spent a lot of time with him. We both trusted him."