I'll Keep This Secret For You

Chapter 125

"I'm actually kind of excited. It's our first mission with Natasha and Sam along for the ride and it's a big one too. Kind of perfect actually. Two on the inside and two passing on info is how we will do it. It'll be interesting to see how we go." He pipes up after a while while the two of you are sorting through his drawers trying to find everything he needs.

"That's good. Hopefully with the four of you working together it should be safer," you say absentmindedly as you fold up some of his clothes and place them in his duffle bag.

The two of you go about packing his stuff in relative silence, the kids all in other rooms doing their own things or down for naps. You feel like you know what he needs off by heart by now you've had to do it so much. But in amongst the silence and a few awkward glances where you catch each other's eyes, of course that only leaves room for you to think about what could go wrong on this mission. And eventually you start to remember what happened last time, and how you felt when you opened the front door to see Bucky in that state.

"Buck," you finally say in a shaky voice just as your zipping you'll his bag.

"Yeah doll?" He asks in a low, deep tone.

But when you look up you can see that his eyebrows are creased in concern. You don't say anything else, instead you just walk around the bed and straight into hug him, nestling your head in his chest and wrapping your arms around his back. Slowly, after a moment of confusion, you feel his arms do the same to you. For some reason your mind flicks back to a time not that long ago when he was too afraid to hug you back, when he was scared of your touch... because of something that was done to him on one of these missions.

"What's wrong doll?" He chuckles softly when you can't help but start to cry, sniffling quietly into his shirt. "Come on, don't be like this please. Are you okay?"

You nod. "I'm sorry." You whimper. "Just please Buck, you have to be careful. I know theres nothing I can do to stop you but I won't be able to handle it if you get bought back to me the same way as you did last time."

He lets out a shaky breath. "You know I can't make any promises, but I will try my best. I can't say I enjoy being in that much pain either," he tries to say jokingly and it actually does manage to get a snigger out of you.

You lean up on your tip toes and peck him on the lips.

"Should we get going?" You sigh.

He nods with a sad look on his face, picking up his duffle bag and following you out as you hold his hand. In the lounge you find Isla playing with Theo.

"Alright guys, time to go drop dad off and say goodbye." You announce as you walk in.

"Aww." Isla pouts as she stands up.

Theo has a sad frown on his face as he follow suit.

"Buck, would you mind getting Blue and Lilly and putting them in the pram while I get these guys ready?"

He nods and disappears into the nursery.

"Luke! Get out here! We are walking your father to work to say goodbye and you are coming with us!" You call out down the hall.

"Coming." You hear him groan back.

God, you'd think that at least to say goodbye to his dad who he supposedly looks - or looked - up to so much he'd show a little compassion or enthusiasm.

"Do I have to?" He moans as he comes out, his shoulders slumped. "Can't I just say goodbye here? I'm meant to be meeting up with the boys in half an hour."

"What is more important right now? Saying goodbye to your dad who could be gone for a few weeks on a dangerous mission or hanging out with these dodgy guys who you seem to spend every second of every day with anyway? You are coming with us Luke!" You say sternly.