heaven knows
angels are anything but angelic, johnny concludes. they're bitter, vile, disgusting creatures. yet, he thinks mark might be different.
beautiful. elegant.
mark's a vixen – a jokester, cruel and ruthless. likes to bring pain. thrives of heartache. especially johnny's.
in theory, he's not different. but johnny sees beyond, at least that's what he tells himself. notices how mark chews on his black nails when there's too much noise, closes his eyes when the guitar solo in his favorite song comes on. how his fangs shoot out the moment anyone tries to harm johnny.
when johnny asks about being let go, mark punishes him. angels aren't forgiving, johnny doesn't know where that rumor ever started.
"why can't you just be grateful?" he screams and johnny chokes, ringing for air. blood runs down his chest, drenching his grey shirt.
"you're no good man, john. you know what they'd do to you."
angels are anything but angelic, but they don't compare to demons; fallen angels who seek revenge on the damned. cold-blooded killers. human scum.
people like johnny.
i deserve it, johnny thinks because mark will hear it and his vocal chords have been cut through. he already feels them healing, the angel's proximity and the fact that he's already dead making it impossible for him to get permanently injured. you said it yourself. i'm no good man.
"who cares? i can do what i want! and i want you to- i want-"
johnny slumps down the moment he's able to breathe again, gasping for more air. "why?" he rasps out and he grabs his neck, fingers staining red. his skin is healing and then the pain is gone altogether.
mark scoffs. "what do you mean?"
"i mean," johnny spits out blood, "why do you want me to stay? why can't you let me go? i thought hell would be bad but being with you is like my personal purgatory."
he quickly holds his hands over his ears as mark shrieks, making the walls of the house vibrate with what might be fear.
it ends as soon as it started and johnny feels the blood running out of his ears. mark's on the other end of the room, chest rising and falling at an unnatural pace, wings spread like mid-flight.
"fine. if that's what you want. but first i want to show you something."
eden is...different. johnny's spend his time in heaven, even if it was at mark's side. no one questioned his presence, safe for some of mark's horrible friends, who liked to see humans weep with pain – mark also wasn't the only angel who kept a human for longer than necessary. yuta, who had three rows of teeth like a shark and eyes so dark they made johnny's heart pound out of his chest, kept a human named sicheng. unlike johnny, sicheng was supposed to go to eden. he's what johnny thought angels would look like.
"lee donghyuck," mark says once they've arrived at one part of the giant garden. johnny winces at the mention of the name.
mark points to a kid currently playing chess with an elderly woman. all of them are dressed in white, making mark, in his leather pants and johnny in his bloodied shirt stick out like a sore thumb.
"he can't see us because we're not supposed to be here. besides, he wouldn't remember you. the innocent don't get to ever feel bad again, while that's all you're supposed to do for the rest of your life."
johnny breathes out. donghyuck is as beautiful as he remembers.
"did you love him? i never get why humans kill. was it unreciprocated love?" mark doesn't sound judgemental, just curious.
"i- i don't know," johnny says, truthfully. he doesn't even know how long he's been dead for, let alone how long donghyuck's been here.
"are you ready?" mark says next to him. he's smaller than johnny.
i'm not, he thinks. "yes. thank you for showing me," he says, even though he's unsure why the angel did it.
mark chuckles.
"you can stay a bit, if you want. just a little longer," he then says while they walk through the crowds of careless, happy people. eden is warm.
johnny looks at mark. again, there's something different.
"angels are nothing like what is said in the bible," he notes. then, "okay. just a little longer."
just a little longer.
