While You Were Busy Being Heterosexual, We Studied The Blade. (BNHA Chatfic)

Ch. 53- He's Not The Villain He Appears to Be

I thought you were OVER this bullshit?

Wait, what bullshit?

The whole 'I shouldn't wear this mask... I shouldn't depend on this mask...' thing

I didn't even know it was a thing before, thank you!!

Yeah, because you forgot

...I forgot?

Yeah, but I didn't

How does that work?

No idea, but I never forgot. You hate wearing this mask. You hate having to depend on it. You hate splitting, you hate what happened, and you hate what happened because of what happened.

...the beginning started to make sense but you kinda lost me at the end there...

Ugh, ever since the whole... clone thing and seeing you murder yourself multiple times and, ya know, avoiding all human contact up until now because you were never sure if you existed or were just a clone of yourself and feared that any sort of touch or harm done to you would make you melt away into mud therefore ending your entire confusing, somewhat-existence.

...Oh. That.

Yeah. You tried going to family for help, but they rejected you. They said you were too old to be asking help from your family, it was too late in life for you to actually be sick with something.

..Yeah I-I remember that.

Ever since then, you hated yourself for the mask. When you worked for the Hassaikai for, like, a day, when your mask broke, you were thankful to Toga for helping you, but you hated needing help in the first place.

And that's why?

Yep... your life was soooo wonderful up until then. You got into UA, buuuuut... you dropped out pretty quick. Went a little crazy, didn't ya? Thing is.. you were crazy even before you created the clones, just in a different way. It was a time where your parents didn't think of you as weak, you were ''emotionally mature", "independent", and sooooo "smart", apparently.

And I'm guessing I never was?

No. You were not "emotionally mature", you were sick. You weren't "independent", you were lonely. I'll give you this, though, you're somewhat smart.

Thanks, I guess.

You're so nonchalant about all of this... are you unaffacted? You make it such a big deal about how important it is to have a sense of identity... yet you don't? Doesn't that bother you?? Doesn't that make you want to shrivel up and just DIE?!

...Yeah kinda. But I'm just... not surprised. Not surprised I dropped out of UA, it's crazier to think I got in in the first place, not surprised I was kinda off the rails before the clone situation, just... not surprised.

Well that's sad.

Yeah, I guess so... but I'm not really worried about that right now... what I'm worried about is Shouji... I want to trust him... but I'm guessing the reason I don't is because he's wearing a mask? And I see masks as making someone weak and dependent??