Chapter 23

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Days have been so slow lately. They all seem so boring and dull and long. Although, I'm graduating soon. So that's exciting! It's something to look forward to. I would usually be hanging with Josh, but I'm not myself lately. So I don't want him to suspect anything. He doesn't need to burdened with by problems, that can I can deal with by myself. If he found out what I've been keeping from him, he'll either flip shit, or try to make me get better. We all know I can't get better. I mean, I've been doing it for 2 years or so, so why not a few more, right?

My phone buzzes, scaring me half to death. I look at the way too bright screen.

Joshers: I miss your face.

I laugh.

Me: I miss your Converse.

Joshers: Can I come over Jess darling?

Me: *sigh* I suppose. (;

I really wish I didn't say he could come over. I've been really sad and depressed for the past few days. But I'm good at faking smiles, so that will help. I get up and get dressed. I grab a pair of black leggings, an ivory colored tank top with Ying and Yang and a dream catcher designed in the front, then I put a black cardigan overtop. I put on black socks and a black beanie. I sigh while looking at myself in the mirror. I am shit.

I shake my head and head downstairs. There's a knock at the door. I walk over and open the door, only to see Josh's smiling face. He picks me up and kisses me.

"Hey there darling." He says between kisses. I smile.

"Hello." I say. He tilts his head slightly.

"You okay Jess?" He asks in a concerned tone. In my mind, I tell him everything that's happening. But do I do that in real life?

Nope.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just tired of school." He smiles.

"Well you're graduating soon!" I smile.

"FINALLY. Jesus Christ I'm sick of school."

"Well once you've graduated, we can hang out more often!" He says all happy.

"Yes we can. I've missed our days where we just chill and tall about everything." I reply. He smiles his signature smile that can make you melt into the floor.

"I have too. Now! How 'bout we chill and talk right now?" I nod, as we both sit down on the couch. I cuddle into his chest. I could honestly stay like this forever.

I don't want this moment to ever end.

Josh's POV

She cuddles into my chest and slowly drifts off to sleep. I smile to myself. She's so beautiful. She's gotten me through so much shit. I'm thankful she's in my life. I begin to rub her forearm slowly. I feel something. Just barely. I raise an eyebrow.

No. Not Jessa. She's happy. Right? She wouldn't have. I take a deep breath.

Okay. Calm down Josh. Its probably just some bracelets. Should I?

Well I'll never know if I don't. I begin to move her sleeve up slowly. She begins to stir. I put my hand back at my side and act like nothing happened. I look down at her. She smiles.

"I'm so tired and I don't even know why." She's says a bit frustrated.

"Yeah that happens to me too. Has your insomnia been bad lately?" I ask. She shakes her head.

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