Chapter 11

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FRIDAY

I have been crying everyday, all day since I found out I was moving from Vancouver to Toronto. Life sucks a lot right now. I don't know what I'm going to do without Josh. He makes me so happy, and without him I'm not myself. I'm the exact opposite actually. It just sucks because I can't do anything about it. I've already said goodbye to Jayden and Matt like 50 times, I'm currently walking over to Josh's to say a very painful goodbye. I walk up his steps and just stand there. Y'know, I never thought this would ever have to happen. Saying goodbye and all. I never even thought about saying goodbye to him. This is going to be a very tear filled goodbye. I finally get the nerve to knock on his door.

"Hi Jessa..... Josh is downstairs." His mom says. I see his dad and Sara all sitting and talking. I slighty smile and walk downstairs. I take a deep breath. I see Josh sitting on his bed, he clearly had been crying. His crystal blue eyes, are now red and bloodshot. His face was in his hands. He looks up and sees me. He slightly smiles, and pats his lap. I sit on his lap and immediately begin to sob into his shoulder. This has been happening a lot lately. He hugs me as tight as possible. I hear him softly crying.

"Jess... I don't want you to go... Please don't leave me." I sob even more.

"Josh if I could stay... I would because I love you with all my heart... But I can't..." I manage to say without bursting out into even more tears.

"I can't stand to see you leave... What am I going to do without you babe?" He asks as he pushes hair away from my eyes. I hold his hand.

"You'll be fine Josh..... But what am I supposed to do without you? You're my everything. You're the rea-" I start but I'm cut off by his lips. I feel a few tears land softly on my shirt. I don't know if they were mine or his. But I honestly don't even care right now. He wraps his arms around my waist. I feel tears escape from eyes. He slightly smiles and rubs them away with his thumbs. He rests his forehead against mine. I kiss him. The corners of his mouth slightly curve. We stay like that for about 15 minutes. Whispering stuff to each other. Laughing. Remembering stuff we did. Crying. Mostly crying.

"J-Josh... I have to go..." Tears well up in his eyes.

"Jess... I don't want you to go..." He says while looking down. I lift his chin up with my index finger.

"Hey..... I'll talk to you everyday... I don't want to go either Joshie... But I have to.. " The tears run down his face and onto my lap. I feel a few drip down my face. I get up. He gets up right after. I look into his baby blues and smile.

"Joshua Keeler Ramsay, I love you and I always will. You will never be replaced." He smiles.

"Jessa Alexandra Caplan, you will always be in my heart, even if you are not with me. I will never forget about you."

"Fuck Joshie I can't leave. I don't want to." I say as he pulls me in for a hug.

"Look... I know its going to be hard for both of us... But I will call you everyday...."

"Hey Joshie?" I say, wiping tears away.

"Yeah Jess?"                              

"C-can we take a picture? Or pictures." He smiles.

"Of course." I get my phone out and take about 50 pictures of us doing every pose we could think of. Josh takes out his phone and we do the same thing again. I sigh.

"Well... I gotta go..." I say sadly. He rubs tears away.

"Yeah.... I guess...."

"Goodbye Joshie... I love you."

"Goodbye Jess... I love you too" He says right before be kisses me passionately One Last Time before I leave. I feel tears well up in my eyes. He smiles.

"I'll call you everyday and text you everyday... I promise." He says. I nod and begin to walk upstairs.

"Jess! WAIT!" I stop at the top if the stairs. He catches up to me.

"I want to give you this... Something to remember me by." He says as he hands me a little box. I smile and open it. I feel him hug me.

"Josh... I love it. Thank you." It was a treble clef necklace. He smiles.

"Look on the back." So I look on the  back. I smile and hug him. It said 'Good To You, forever and always'. Frick Josh. He helps me put it on. I smile.

"Goodbye Jess. I love you." He says as a tear rolls down his soft, pale cheek. I tear up.

"Goodbye Joshie. I love you too." He smiles and hugs my waist. I hug his chest. I don't want to go. But I have to. He kisses me, oh I'm going to miss this. His kisses. His hugs. Everything.

"I'll see you soon babe." He whispers into my ear.

"I hope so." He smirks and kisses my neck. I kiss his cheek. His parents and sisters were staring at us. Oops. Ah whatever. Its an emotional goodbye. I walk towards the door.

"Bye Joshie... Bye Mr and Mrs Ramsay, bye Sara!" I say as I sigh and walk out the door.

"Bye Jessa!" Miles, Corlynn and Sara say.

"Bye Jess. I love you."

"Bye Joshie. I love you too." He smiles and I close the door. Oh this is going to be harder than I thought.

*********

Well hello!  Yes I know this was a shorter chapter than usual, but I was sitting in a wheelbarrow as I was writing it so whatever. (I'm weird okay?)

Okay! I have a few stories to recommend.

1. The Other Side Of Tomorrow by @Jillybean_MT.

2. You're My Dad? by @MrsRamsay.

3. Hope For The Best, Expect The Worst by @Perfect__Porcelain.

4. Being Held Captive Isnt Always A Bad Thing by @NobodyWillBreakYou.

These are my ALL TIME FAVORITE books to be honest. So go read them! They're all so amazing!

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