Thinking Out Loud || #Wattys2015

11: Problems

"No. I haven't. I don't really want to." Lauren said avoiding Camila's gaze. The brunette sat up and faced her tucking one leg underneath her.

"Why babe?" Camila asked taking her hand.

"I hate to say it but I'm scared. My brothers twin didn't survive that surgery. My uncle didn't either and neither did my great grand father. I don't want to be next." Lauren said her voice getting shaky.

"Don't you see the pattern. Uncle....Brother....grand father. All male babe. You're not a boy. You're a girl and every single inch of me believes that when you go into that surgery you will come right back out." Camila said looking at Lauren. The green eyed girl sighed putting her head down.

"That's the thing. I'm not a girl. I'm not a straight girl. I have a dick and nothing can change the fact that I'm intersex. Both. Male and female. So what's the fate for me to be honest with you." Lauren mumbled sighing. Camila heard her sniff before she put her head up and stood up.

"Babe calm down. Listen to me. No matter what conditions you have. You look like a girl you where born a girl but with a small thing that made you unique and different. Also. A hella lot sexier," Camila smirked standing up and wrapping her arms around Lauren's waist, "besides all that. It makes you. You. Shouldn't that be the only thing that actually matters?" Camila asked softly.

"Yeah I guess." Lauren mumbled turning to look at Camila. She smiled a small smile before kissing her softly. Their kisses were labored before they turned into hungry kisses hair tangling and hands roaming. Lauren slid her hands into Camila's Jean pockets cupping her butt. The smaller girl smirked and connected their lips again pulling Lauren's hoodie off. She had on a tank top.

"Spare room keys on the counter." Camila mumbled against Lauren's mouth.

"I'm not having sex with you. For four reasons. One you're a virgin. Two I don't have condoms on me. Three this is your cousins place. Four we've only been dating for about a week or so now. I don't want to take that step too early. Seriously you're more first real real relationship that I don't want to just be about sex when we can. And usually after the first time go round the second is a day later then pretty soon the whole relationship is based in time place and how many condoms I have. I really don't want that with you." Lauren said rubbing Camila's arms.

"I understand. I just...I really want to see it." Camila mumbled.

"See my....wait why?! You've never seen a....oh babe you're such a virgin." Lauren said softly kissing the top of her head.

"Shut up." She mumbled making Lauren laugh.

"You'll see it one day didn't you see it in Paris?" Lauren asked.

"No. You got out the shower really fast and well I was standing behind you so." Camila confessed.

"Wow." Lauren said shaking her head.

"What I'm new to these things. Don't shake your head at me." Camila pouted.

"Don't pout that's rude." They started a playful banter which of course ended with them making out.

---

"So I haven't met your mom. You've met mine." Lauren said sitting in the car in front of Camila's home.

"I haven't told her about us yet. My mom thinks I'm straight. My dad too. At least I think." Camila confessed putting her head down.

"Why would she think you're straight? My gaydar has a bidar setting now babe." Lauren smiled remember the first time they ever text.

"Yeah my mom has a gaydar too but she doesn't suspect it from me because I was quote on quote raised right. My parents are catholic because of our culture and stuff." Camila said shrugging.

"So are mine but I guess they couldn't really help it because of my condition but they didn't want to change me because they said I was special the way I am. I didn't actually come out to them until I was in 9th grade after loosing my virginity being stupid of course. But my parents knew it was going to happen. Yeah my mom was upset and my dad just thought. Hey another guy to watch sports with only because my brother doesn't watch anything but volleyball. Also I don't do anything girly and I like girls. But take your time. Come out when you think the time is right." Lauren said grabbing the smaller girls hand.

"I'd kiss you but you don't have tinted windows and my mom is literally watching me right now." Camila said glancing up the walk to her house seeing her mom standing there.

"Haha ok bye love you babe. Also you free Friday?" She asked.

"Yeah why?"

"I'll text you the deats." Lauren said smiling.

"For what?"

"Our second date." Lauren smirked. The brunette glanced at her mom who was looking down at her phone probably trying to get a text out to Camila. She leaned over and kissed Lauren quickly before getting out the car.

"Mami I'm coming go back in side." Camila yelled her mom motioning her in walking back into the house herself.

"Text me ok?" Camila asked.

"First as always." Lauren smiled.
---

"Your school called." Clara said as Lauren walked through the door.

"Ok and?" The green eyed girl said grabbing and apple.

"And you skipped. Three classes. Ever since you started dating this Camila girl you've been changing." Clara sighed.

"Changing how?" Lauren bantered back.

"Lia told us about what happened in Paris. We asked you how things went. You lied saying all was well. Skipping class. How many times have you two had sex in my house?" Clara asked.

"What the hell mom?! I wouldn't fuck someone I just started seeing!" Lauren yelled.

"Lying again. You know you've had sex with multiple girls. It's like a whore house with you if it isn't Camila it's Normani. Not her it's Lucy not Lucy it's Alexa Vero. All these girls. And you dare say you and Camila haven't had sex once?!" Clara argued back. It ticked in Lauren. Her long term anger. She slammed her hand in the counter and her mom jumped at the noise.

"Ever since you found out I had a fucking dick you've been treating me like I'm so boarded up need help with everything little kid. Ever since I went through that dreadful dreadful time of puberty. You downed me. When I came out. You downed me. When I lost my virginity you called me a fucking whore. Mom why don't you fuck off. Wait my bad. Clara. Because you aren't the same fucking mom who loved me for who I was before I started making these bad decision! Do you know why I started?! Because of you! Dad only ever supported me. That's why I love him more than you. Now I don't want to hear your fucking shit Clara. I'm done!" Lauren yelled walking out the kitchen punching the wall before she went down to her room. She looked at the mini fridge sitting in the corner.

Fuck it... She thought. She grabbed a bag and three open the fridge pulling a pack of beer cans out and throwing them into the bag. She pulled it onto her shoulder and grabbed her phone walked up stairs and out the house. She started walking until she reached the park sitting down against a tree and started drinking away her sorrows.

---

Yikes. 😐

So I thought I should tell you. At first this was going to be Camila's story as far as getting bullied but something told me to make this Laurens and to show her side more so Camila's the next chapter will be a big part in the story. I'll try and update again tonight because I don't have bball practice so :D

Yay :)