The King and The Lionheart (Loki fanfic V:1)

Stay Alive Part 10

I'm finally left to dream once again and Loki comes to me although the dream is very blurry. He's too far for me to understand anything he tries to say, I can only just make out a concerned look on his face before he leaves me. I'm left to the only other dreams I have. The dead just love visiting me, don't they? They just love you torture me, as if I'm not in enough pain in waking.

I'm jolted awake with yet more pain. Oh, joy. My face has barely dried from the last time, it must have been only two or three hours since they left. My voice cracks even when I scream, even breathing burns it. I think they torture me with the potions for three days before something odd happens. I get a visitor.

I get turned right side up and see it's a servant. "Well this certainly is a new tactic, isn't it?" I croak.

She shushes me. This twig of a girl just shushed me. Although I guess I'm not exactly in a situation that I can complain about that. "You have to be very quiet," she whispers as she undoes my restraints.

"Why are you helping me?" I whisper hoarsely.

"Not all of us are here willingly, but then again I guess you knew that. Not all of us are traitors of Odin. Here," She explains and hands me a potion and a long sword.

"What's this?"

"Strength potion, these people don't exactly care what's legal or not, who'd have guessed? It'll give you a fighting chance against them. We're just slaves to those actually doing the harm so try not to kill any of us."

I nod and chug the potion. I feel adrenaline run through my veins enabling me to stop feeling the pain that was screaming at me. "Get behind me," I whisper. Even with dulled pain my throat is killing me. I slam open the door and kill the two guards outside my door. Other guards come running at me and I duck under one of their swords and come up gutting another. I turn with him still on my sword and push onto the one I ducked.

I kill every guard that comes my way. I barge into every door and rid this gutter of a hideaway of every awful person in it, until there's all hostiles are dead. Well, all but one. Ivon Ambrose. I kick him down to the ground and keep him pushed down with my knee on his stomach. I see blood start to drip from my face onto his.

I disarm Ivon, which is to say I actually rid him of his arms. He screams in pain and I feel like I've put something in the universe back to the way it should be. I stab him in the heart, leaving no room for error or chance that he could be alive. In one moment I watch the live drain from his eyes and in the next I hear his last breath come out. All I know is that now there are no more enemies and I'm covered in blood, I look like I bathed in it. I feel the strength potion wearing off and suddenly all the pain I felt before comes back with a vengeance. I feel a scream tear its way from my throat before I pass out from the pain.

I wake up in a dark room back at camp, I barely recognize it as the healer's cabin. I feel tears slip down my face from the relief I feel I look across from me and see Eliina staring at me sadly. I try to say her name but the only thing that comes out is a hoarse squeak. She gets up slowly and sits on the corner of my bed to hold my hand.

"Hey Amril. You look like hell," I let out a breathy laugh and fall into a coughing fit. She rubs my back until I calm down "The healer's say that you've lost your voice for a while and need to rest it to get it back. They say it's probably caused from prolonged strain to your vocal cords. Once you're well enough to move you're going to be moved to Asgard. The king wants to see you as soon as you get back."

I nod and squeeze her hand making her look at my confused face I mouth "What's wrong?"

A tear trips down her face "Amril, you can't come back when you get better." I sit up even more confused now and ready to argue despite my throat hurting more than ever. "Don't say anything, I want you to get better as soon as you can. You have battle sickness and after this... you need time. You need to finish grieving for him, you need to get better. You're my best friend and this kills me to say but you need to leave. This isn't the place for you, maybe one day, but not for quite some time. You need a break, from this... from everything."

She leaves me alone to my thoughts. I know she'd kill me if I didn't listen to her, and honestly, I know she's right. I'm not well, mentally. I don't exactly know where my place is anymore. The only place I've felt like I've belonged ever since Loki died is with Eliina and Crissy at those awful bars. I'm going to have to make my place somewhere else. Midgard sounds like a good place, the real question is how in Helheim am I going to get there?

I drink every potion I'm given by the field healers and I finally am able to convince one of them to give me a mirror. To say the least everything I can see looks like hell. My face still has some small bruises littering it and my hair looks like a bird's nest. They heal me enough that I can at least attempt to get up by myself, but even that's a struggle. I'm able to wash myself in a nearby creak and when I return I find Eliina waiting for me in the tent they're sheltering me in. She patiently combs my hair and we struggle for a conversation, but nothing comes out of it.

I'm finally healed enough to be moved back to Asgard and Eliina comes to see me off. "If you ever need something, anything, I'll be there for you. I'll miss you, truly. I love you like a sister."

"I love you, too," I croak. She hug me softly, scared that I could break under her arms. I have to be transported with a healer so they can make sure their "stubborn patient" gets the treatment needed. A tear slips past my guard and she wipes it away. She gives me a nod to say that she knows I'm going to be fine. I nod back in confirmation.

Suddenly I'm back on Asgard and all the pain starts to come back, I hiss in pain and the healers runs me to the more advanced healing chambers. I see Thor come up behind me and I feel a slight comfort at my old friend's presence. I whimper in pain trying not to yell obscenities, the healer that came with me opens the door to the healing room. I'm put on one of the beds and I can hear Thor arguing to be allowed to stay. I'm sure since he is the prince he'll get his way but I'm put under before I can hear if he can stay or not.

The next few days it's surgery after surgery trying to under the damage that was done to my whole torso, arms, and legs. Thor comes to visit me occasionally but it's really Frigga who's my constant companion. I greatly appreciate visitors since I'm not allowed to leave this room. It's been so long since I've seen her so it's nice to catch up, she's always been a mother figure to me. She reads to me on the days that I'm too weak to keep my eyes open and talks to me on the days I'm restless.

The dreams of Loki are so clear on Asgard, I dream that he asks me every night if I'm ok. What happened, if I'm getting proper care, and the like. My dreams of him still aren't completely clear and sometimes I can't even read his lips to make out what he's trying to say. But his intentions are still there and it hurts to dream of him being concerned for me when he isn't even alive.

After a few weeks I'm finally allowed to walk around without supervision and I don't have to keep reporting back to the healers of how I am. They couldn't heal my back though, they said I will always have scars there, after all the potions he pour into it there was no way it'd heal completely. I guess now I'm one of the very few Asgardians with battle scars.

"Thor!" I call to him in the halls one day, he turns and stops, waiting for me to make my way over to him. "I need a favor."