False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 42

I can't help but scoff at her question, "For a song that was supposed to be a secret, everyone sure knows a lot about it."

"You and I both know that Chester can't keep anything a secret for too long when it comes to his band," Frances responds before hitting play on the audio. She allows the music to play though a few times, making a handful of minor adjustments before letting it run on its own. "That sounds a lot better."

My eyes lock with her haunting blue ones; reminding me of the days that I would receive the same loving look, but from a different Cobain.

---

June 21, 1992

Dublin, Ireland

"Shelli, I don't know if this was such a great idea anymore..." My right hand brushes out knots in my newly dyed hair while Shelli pulls me through the backstage area by my left one. "Everyone is looking at me."

The dark-haired woman shakes her head before turning down a long, dimly lit corridor. "Rose, it's because none of the crew recognizes you. It's not often I show up with a 'new face'. Everything is fine, stop worrying."

"My life would be a lot less stressful if you had agreed to stay at the house in Nags Head..." I groan. The woman makes yet another turn, barely dodging a crew member who was turning the corner at the same time.

There is no time to complain anymore as a head of shaggy blond hair comes into view. A familiar tattered flannel covers the man's shoulders, paired with his signature ripped jeans.

I almost stop breathing when our eyes lock; his blue iris's looking livelier then ever before as they stare deeply into mine. My stomach churns as Shelli stops to face me. "I feel like you two have some important matters to discuss..." She lightly pats my shoulder, "I'm going to go see my husband while you take care of that."

Both Kurt and I watch in an awkward silence as Shelli darts into the boys' stressing room in search of her bassist. My eyes stay trained on the door for a second longer before shifting over to the blond man in front of me. "So..."

"I'm sorry," The two words leave both of our mouths so quickly that I almost convince myself that I was hearing things.

Kurt's free hand moves up to rub the back of his neck, obviously feeling the awkward tension in the air. "I want things to be okay between us Rose. There's enough tension between the band and Courtney... I can't lose you and Shelli too."

Deep down, I know Shelli would have my back no matter what. She may have known Kurt for most of her life, but in the last two years she and I have become sisters from the amount of time we spend together. 

"I need time Kurt," My front teeth clamp down on my lower lip as I avert my eyes to the carpeted floor, "I'm here if you need me, but I'm not completely ready to let my guard down again. It's not that I don't trust you; I don't trust myself."

"Okay..." The boy seems to ponder my statement for a moment before smiling back up at me. "The electric blue suites you. You should keep it that way."

I shrug, playing with a loose strand while biting my bottom lip. "I think it's just a one-time thing. I'll probably dye it back to my natural color by the end of the year."

Kurt nods, silently opening his arms in hopes of initiating a hug. I shoot the singer a skeptical look, earning a stern one in return before allowing myself to step into his outstretched arms. The blonds grip tightens as I feel his breath against my left ear. "Everything you need to know is in this book."

As Kurt pulls back, he drops one of his many spiral notebooks into my hands. A large 'KC' etched into the blue cover along with a couple doodles. "What is this?"

"Open it and find out for yourself..."

---

Dave pushes my body up against the metal tour bus without breaking our lips apart. His pointer fingers are hooked tightly through my belt-loops, and I can't help but let my fingers get tangled in his long sweaty hair.

Tonights show ran rather smoothly. Kurt decided to only smash one guitar rather than the entire sound system tonight, Krist threw his bass in the air and caught it cleanly, and Dave had managed to only break one stick while playing; for Nirvana, it was a first.

"God I can't get enough of this new hair," He pulls away for a second, brown eyes locking with my blue ones as one of his hands let go of my belt loop to tangle a strand around his finger. "I looks like cotton candy."

I can't help but chuckle at his comparison, "I was going more for 'sexy electric blue' rather than food David."

"Well excuse my stomach for being empty again." His lips press lightly against my forehead before pulling away completely, "I'm going to run and take a shower before Krist uses all the hot water. Give me fifteen minutes and we can go get a few drinks in town with Shelli."

His infectious smile brings one to my face without fail. 

The two of us make our way onto the bus before splitting up in the kitchen. Him turning towards the back to grab a change of clothes while I take a seat in the lounge area. As soon as the bathroom door clicks shut behind him, I whip the tattered blue notebook from my back pocket. 

Sighing, I can't help but be disappointed in myself for once again lying to my fiancé. 'It's a dietary plan I'm trying out for my headaches. My mom recommended it to me because she had the same problem when she was my age.'

One thing I know for sure, that this book is definitely not a dietary plan...

I slide into the booth seat connected to the kitchen table, dropping the book lightly on the white surface; not wasting any time before flipping the book open to the first page.

The first two words bring a chill down my spine.

Dear Rosemary,

...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.

Two months is too long.

I love and have missed you all and am finally free from all of my obligations.

If you have any questions feel free to ask :)

-Ky