|: Cigarettes and Candy :| Carlisle Cullen Fanfiction

Never Let Me Go

Declan's POV.

I woke up, not even remembering when I fell asleep. I was surrounded by a familiar scent but not my scent. I wasn't in my bed that I made into a makeshift nest, I believe I'm in Charlie's room. There's no way I could be carried up the ladder into my room, so I guess I was dropped off in Charlie's.

I tried to open my eyes but they burn and I'd rather just go back to sleep. I'd rather fall into a coma.

There's blankets covering me, I pulled them tighter around myself and tried to feel comfort in the warmth. I swallowed the lump in my throat and rolled onto my other side.

I sniffled and listened to hear if I was alone. I can't hear any other breathing in the room with me, I don't want to be alone.

"Charlie?" I tried to call but my voice refused to go higher than a whisper.

"Charlie!" I tried again.

It was a little bit louder, but not nearly enough based on the fact that I hear no movement from the floor below.

A small sob broke out of me, I buried my face into a pillow and let the trembling start again. My shoulders hurt from the tension that has refused to leave me for the past day or so. It's only gotten worse and my world continues to crumble around me.

After a few more quiet sobs, I reminded myself that I didn't want to be alone. Opening my eyes for a second, I saw the nightstand that was within arms reach. There was only an alarm clock and a framed picture that I choose to ignore.

I reached for the small piece of furniture and pushed. I used more strength than I should have, but who the fuck cares anymore. The nightstand fell causing a bang loud enough to alert Charlie who seems to be in the living room downstairs.

He rushed up the stairs and only paused to knock on the door before opening it.

A small bit of light from the hallway light made me realize how dark it is in the room. It's nighttime now, how long have I been asleep? How long was I breaking down?

How long has Adam been dead?

A wrecked sob hurt my throat as I pushed my face into the pillow again, trying to keep the light from the hall from reaching me. As if staying in the dark room will keep me safe from the rest of the world.

I heard Charlie step in the room and push the door closed behind him. His knee pops as he crouched by the side of the bed. I felt the weight of his hand rest on my side as he sighed.

"I-I'm sorry." I managed to force out between painful breaths.

I'm sorry for pushing over the nightstand. I'm sorry for screaming and kicking and crying. I'm sorry for causing a scene in front of his friends. I'm sorry for not being able to tell anyone what's wrong. I'm sorry for not being able to force myself to be okay. I'm sorry that I'm such a terrible person to be around. I'm sorry that death and loss and tragedy seems to follow me.

Charlie shushed me as I attempted to apologize again.

"It's okay, you're okay." He comforted.

I shook my head against the pillow.

It's really not okay. I'm really not okay.

"He's-," my mouth refused to say the words.

He shushed me again. "I know."

He moved his hand up and down soothingly, the movement gave me a pattern to focus my breathing on. Eventually my breaths became even and less pain inducing.