In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 23.

"What'd I miss??"

"The little one is movin around! I think he wants out." Julian said. I giggled, nudging him.

George came to us, getting on his knees and slowly rubbing my stomach. He smiled when he felt the kick.

"Christ. It all seems so surreal ye know? I mean...sometimes when I see you I just..." he trailed off and looked up at me.

"You what?" I asked curiously. He just shook his head and stood up.

"Nothin. Come on down. I'm sure you're hungry."

"Starved actually." I laughed. He chuckled and talked to Jules as we headed downstairs, to the kitchen.

..

Julian eventually made his way into the living room to watch tv, while and George stayed in the kitchen, eating our dinner and talking. I took a sip of my tea before I spoke.

"So, George. What were you going to say when we were up there?"

He shrugged and set his fork down. "It's nothin really. I mean, after all these years we all change. But when I see ye sometimes I just...I still remember you as that seventeen year old girl I had a crush on."

I smiled, watching him blush. "I'm still that same girl George. I'm just blonde, taller, and I'm pregnant."

He laughed and looked into my eyes. "I was just a silly young lad with a crush on an older bird I couldn't 'ave. All those years I just stood back, watching John hurt you over and over again. Seein ye cry all the time. Your heart broken basically every fuckin week..."

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah and who's arms did I go crying into all those times?"

He blushed again, pointing to himself. "Some of those times I just fantasized about you running away with me. I'd tell myself I'd treat you better than he ever could. I'd never hurt or leave you. But you'd tell me not to worry about it. Not to get involved and that you can handle yourself. If only I tried harder."

I watched him set his food aside and slump in his chair. The look on his face...hurt, jealousy, need..

"George?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. I just...I always wanted better for you. I have to admit, I wonder myself what life would have been like if you and me..shit I'm just babbling on now." I laughed nervously. He smiled and leaned over, placing his hand on mine.

"I can treat you better than him. I just wish you could have seen that a long time ago. Then maybe that baby could've been..." He shook his head and stood up. "I better go. I have a few things to work on."

And with that, he turned on his heel, leaving me alone at the table.

..

After I dropped Julian off at Cyn's, I stopped to get myself some ice cream and made my way back to George's. I was walking inside when I heard the faint sound of a guitar playing. Making my way upstairs, I walked down the hall, a few doors down and around the corner, making my way to the music source. I stopped when I saw George in his studio, writing and playing.

He turned and saw me, giving me a small smile. "Heya."

"Hi. So, is this where you work?"

He nodded. "Yeah. For my new album. I'm sorry if I was bein loud.."

"Oh no I'm fine with it. Really." I smiled. He looked at the bag in my hand.

"What's that??"

I laughed. "Oh um, ice cream. I had a craving."

He smiled and set his guitar down. "Ah, pregnancy cravings. Mind if I have some?"

I giggled, walking over to him. He pulled me into his lap, grabbing the pint and opening the lid. He pulled out the plastic spoon, scooping and feeding it to me. I blushed at his gesture and licked my lips as he pulled the spoon out of my mouth. We shared and laughed just enjoying our small moment.

In minutes, the entire carton was finished and we were left full and content. I leaned in, licking the corner of his mouth, tasting the sweet strawberries. He smiled.

"It's getting late. I'm going to shower and get some rest."

He nodded and stroked the side of my face. "Alright. Sleep tight yeah?"

"I will. Same to you."

I pecked his lips, making my way off his lap, and out of the room.

..

It was a little past two in the morning when I heard the faint sound of music. George must be in his studio again.

I sat up, not even bothering to put my slippers on and made my way sleepily to see what was going on. As I walked down the hall, the music getting louder and louder. Down the hall, around the corner, two rooms later, I found myself in the open doorway of Georges home studio. I smiled, watching him sitting and pressing buttons.

He jumped when I snuck up behind and placed my hands over his eyes. He laughed and removed my hands, turning his head to see me.

"Hello love. What brings you by?"

I yawned and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder. "It's past two in the morning. Time for bed. Don't you think?"

He pulled me by the arm, sitting me into his lap. I brushed my finger tip over his lips, taking in his features. Something about George always made me feel at ease. Like life was one big spiritual heaven.

He squeezed me and cupped my face into his hand. We just gazed into each others eyes. My heart beating faster the more he watched me. His stare was full of questions. Full of wanting and passion. My fingers found their way tracing his eyebrows, his nose, his lips, his jawline. I couldn't help but to feel a bit shy the more we stayed in this position. I just needed to feel his love. And to show him how much I love him.

We didn't speak as we leaned in, barely brushing out lips against each others. Our tongues slowly finding one another's, moving together as we stayed still. My body heating up. How gentle and sensual he was with me. How much he savored our moments.

When he pulled away, I felt like a part of me was lost. I just wanted to stay in his arms forever.

"It's funny how in the dead of night, things become more beautiful. Everyone's minds are at ease, life is put on hold. It's silent and dark." He whispered, looking at my lips. "I know you love John. You want him don't you?"

I bit my lip and nodded slowly. "I do. I love him and...I don't think I can ever let go. But, I'm scared to leave him. To be finally rid of his existence." I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I shook my head. "He's stolen my heart. To be honest, I don't think I can ever get it back."

"John does love you. I know he does. But Lucy....things aren't the same. It's not nineteen fifty-seven anymore. He's moved on. You have to just accept it."

I sniffled and broke down, crying into his arms. "Why does it hurt so much?? It shouldn't hurt this much." I cried as George held me, rubbing my back.

"Shhh. I know Luce. I know it hurts." He whispered in my ear as I sobbed into his chest the rest of the hour.

......