The Way We Are

Chapter One

Following the banging of pots and pans, Bailey stood at the sink doing the dishes. On the kitchen island sat orange juice, bacon, eggs and banana pancakes with whipped cream smiley faces. Ok, wow I knew for certain I did not have that type of food in my kitchen. My refrigerator was down to bare bones last time I checked. There had been a two-week-old veggie lasagna from Leah, a bottle of spoilt milk, two eggs and what could have possibly once been an egg sandwich.

"I stopped at the supermarket before coming over figuring you wouldn't have anything here to eat," Bailey commented with her back to me.

"Really, how did you know what I am thinking?"

"Remember when you were younger, I would tell you stop being mischievous even though my back was towards you. You would look at me confused and ask if I was a witch with superpowers. Just so you know I still have those superpowers.

"And I still believe you are a witch. An evil, evil witch. Anyway, thank you I guess."

"Hmmm...just eat so that we can get this place in order. There is something I wanted to discuss without you getting angry with me."

She always does this. Use the "hope you don't get angry" statement like automatically knowing whatever she was about to tell me would upset me. Turning around she smiled.

"You took your sweet time getting down here but at least I can say you pulled together nicely." Her gaze fell on me but not really seeing me. Sadness crept into her eyes for a brief second then disappeared. "You do realize you look a lot like her, especially wearing her clothes. We all miss her so much, but as the older sisters we need to be strong for you." I felt horrible for making their lives difficult with my problems.

She was our rock. The shoulder everyone cried on, the bank we visited when we were in trouble, the babysitter and the problem solver.

"Anyhow getting back to the subject at hand, I was thinking maybe you should go see Dr. Lambert."

It took a minute for me to process what she had said, and I did get angry.

"What the hell! You want me to go see Dr. Loony Bin. Bailey you have tried getting me there since last year. You of all people knows my dislike for those types of doctors. All she does is pump people with drugs. I am not going."

She had been one of my friend's doctor in the past. Diagnosed her with Bipolar Disorder and prescribed medication. Suddenly she started getting sick saying that she was even more depressed, tired and always in a foggy state. Thinking back on it she got worst after seeing the doctor. She eventually left her prescription medication behind and started using street drugs. It became a continual downward spiral from there until one day I got a message from a friend saying she jumped off a bridge and killed herself. She was twenty-six years old. A life cut tragically short by difficult choices and no real family to be there to assist her with mental instability.

"This is not up for debate. It's fine if you do not want to go see her,  but if that is the casw you will research another doctor and go. End of story. All I want is for you to find someone that you can talk to. I don't like seeing you like this. Your refusal to speak to us is only amplifying our worries. Make your choice or we will make it for you."

Sitting down at the table pouting I pushed my food around the plate. How had life gone so terribly wrong? As a young girl my life had been mapped out. I would have been an architect at twenty-three, met my boyfriend at twenty-five and be married with a baby by the time I was thirty. So much for planning.

Now here I was a moping thirty-three year with a job I had to force myself to go to and absolutely no social life. No boyfriend, no babies and all my friends stayed away because I kept being evasive with them.