Shining Stars

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Early the next morning I hear footsteps running up the stairs. Confused and now alert I climbed out of bed. My bedroom door was flung open and standing behind it was my mum. Her cheeks were read and her breathing ragid from running up the stairs.

"What's wrong mum?" I ask.

She smiles and holds out an envelope addressed to me.

"Nothings wrong honey. Sorry I should have read it, bur it's great news!"

I open the envelope to reveal a typed letter waiting inside for me.

"Dear Hazel Lancaster.

I am very happy to I'm inform you that you have been successful in securing a job at my bookshop."

The rest of the letter explains my rate of pay and holidays. I don't care if the moneys crap, I just need a job to get me off the ground. I look up at my mum and smile, I have a job! My mum congratulates me in a warm embrace, I busy my face in her shoulder.

I am happy, extremely happy but its always moments when I'm this happy that I think of Augustus. Even if I die tomorrow I've done so many things that he never can. He'll never graduate from college, never have a job, never breathe again.

Once my mum had left my room I cover my mirror with a blanket. Susan recommended this to us yesterday, to help us forget about body image. After all out of sight, out of mind.

She gave us a few other tips such as throwing out magazines (full of celeb pics) and wearing clothes that flatter your body. I rummage through my wardrobe, nothing flatters my body anymore, they all hang off me.

So once again I wear the blue dress that I wore to Oranjee, except I wear thick tights underneath. Winter is definitely on its way now. Its only early October but there a sharp chill in the air. I who's over to my desk and open my laptop, I think its time I sent an email to Mr and Mrs Waters, we haven't corresponded for a while.

I started by asking how they were and that I hoped they were both in good health. I then go on to tell them about my mums pregnancy and my job. My reply comes minutes later, as usual short and sweet.

They never say much about themselves anymore but who could blame them? I headed downstairs for breakfast, in the kitchen my mum has laid out a glass of mango juice and a bacon roll. She offers me a reassuring smile.

"Just take your time."

The second the food touches my lips my stomach is instantly rejecting it. I feel the constant urge to spit it all back out but I wash everything down with my mango juice. About a quarter of the way through I lie my head on the table.

My mum rubs my shoulder, "You can stop there." She says, but I shake my head. Its too easy to give up, I have to keep going.

There's times when I feel like I have to rush to the bathroom but I stay put. Once I stop eating I know it'll be hell for me to start again. When the bacon roll is gone my mum takes the plate away to the sink. I rest my head in my hands. I feel gross, bulbous, ugly.

There's a voice in the back of my mind telling me this isn't true, but something else silences it.

"I'm proud of you." My mum says before dragging me into the living room to watch tv.

After a while I text Kaitlyn, knowing it'll be break at my old high school.

"Guess who got the job?"

":D That's great! So happy for you!"

"Want to come around after school?"

I don't even ask mum, she never objects to Kaitlyn coming over. Infact she always says I'm unsociable, it's not my fault that people are dickheads.