Weightless (lashton au)

Chapter eighteen

All I was thinking about was those images of his uncle passed out on the floor in his own blood. He should have died, I thought darkly.

"He...what?" Was all I could manage as Calum quickly and carefully explained,

"His uncle has been texting and calling Ashton all day, according to Michael-"

"How the fuck does Michael know about all of this?" I felt myself getting agitated as Calum twisted his hands around nervously.

"Um, Ashton told him, I guess?" I felt my heart begin to hurt,

"And he didn't even tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me," a soft voice, not Calum's, cut in. I looked over and saw Ashton was awake and sitting up, and everything about him looked tired.

I took a few steps towards him, still feeling a bit hurt, "You know you can tell me anything, right? No matter what you do I'll always worry about you." Ashton looked down at his lap with guilt.

"I should, uh, y'know, go now so you guys can talk this over," Calum awkwardly commented, taking a step towards the door. Ashton and I turned to look at him, which only made his cheeks turn pink.

To break the tension, I chuckled, "See you tomorrow, Calum." He smiled and waved at me, and then did the same to Ashton before he shut the door.

We were both quiet for a few moments, letting the silence fill the room. I then let out a sigh and sat down on the couch next to Ashton, feeling a pang of sympathy for the boy as I saw his eyes were red and dried tear tracks covered his cheeks.

He had cried himself to sleep.

"Have you been crying?" I choked out, reaching over and stroking his cheek gently with my thumb. After a moment of not responding, Ashton nodded slowly. He quickly turned away from me, but I didn't miss how his bottom lip began to tremble. "Aw, hey," I soothed, pulling Ashton into my arms. "You know I hate when you cry, please don't cry," I rushed out and rested my head on his shoulder.

Once my lips kissed the sensitive skin of his neck, I heard Ashton's breath hitch brokenly.

"I-I'm sorry-y I d-didn't tell y-you and I'm s-sorry for-r crying s-so damn m-much, Lukey," Ashton's head rested on my chest and I felt my shirt getting wet from his tears. His breathing was all short and ragged, making me fear he was going to have a panic attack.

My hand rubbed circles on his back, "You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. And you don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want too, okay?" Ashton looked up at me, his chin resting on my chest and tears pouring down his cheeks. I wiped the tears away, smiling weakly. "Please smile, you know I love your smile."

Ashton shook his head stubbornly, letting out a childish grumble as he clung on to my arm.

I began to sing softly, "You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a-" Ashton bit his lip, forcing a smile off of his face, which only made me grin even more.

"Please don't sing that song," I ignored him, cradling his cheek in my hand and continuing,

"You make me smileeee!" I dragged out the last word dramatically, hugging Ashton into my chest. The muffled giggles I heard from Ashton made my heart flutter and a huge (and probably stupid) smile made its way onto my face. Ashton lifted his head up from my chest, making me coo in adoration, "There's that smile I love,"

His cheeks turned red, his smile widening as his dimples popped on his cheeks.

After a few blissful moments of happiness, Ashton shifted around so he could look at me.

"You deserve to know what has been happening, Luke. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, it's just you always look out for me and I really appreciate that, but I thought I could handle this on my own," Ashton suddenly sounded extremely tired, dampening the earlier happy mood. "I guess I was wrong."

Before I could say anything, Ashton reached into his pocket and put his phone into my hands. "Everything is there," he stood up, biting his lip anxiously.

"Ash, you know there's no way he'll find you, right? I'll make sure of it." My reassuring only seemed to work a little bit as he just shrugged, his eyes dull and droopy.

"I'm just going to go to bed," he mumbled to himself, walking over to it and curling into the blankets with a heavy sigh.

Biting my lip, I waited a second before I walked over to him and leaned down, brushing his hair back and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"We'll be okay," Ashton curled into himself in response, his lips twitching in a half smile.

And when I sat back down on the couch and waited for Ashton's phone to turn on, I let myself think.

I thought that Ashton wasn't getting enough sleep, but now I just realized- all he does is sleep. That sent off signals in my head, I knew that if a person only slept that it was possibly a sign of depression.

Ashton is depressed, he has the lowest self-esteem of anyone I have ever met, yet he is the most beautiful person I have ever met. The thought of him inflicting pain on himself made my stomach tie in knots, but I was also so proud of him. I knew Ashton was trying to stop, I knew that, but he has relapsed more than once and he's tired all the time, he's tired with living and I was trying to desperately fix him. I will never give up on him, but he needs more than me to get better.

Dammit, he needs therapy.

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I feel like this was a longer chapter than the other recent ones I'm so proud of myself *wipes tear*

Also about the new story I mentioned I wanted to write- I haven't written it yet because I'm busy and I just want to think it through before I start writing it (if I do) and yeah :-)

ALL OF THE AMAZING WRITERS ON HERE MAKE ME INTIMIDATED AF BECAUSE MY WRITING SUCKS A$$ BUT I HOPE THIS WASN'T BAD¿ I'll try to update soon! Comments are the key to faster updates jusssttt saying ;D ~Hannah