"A" Report: The Mature Files

His Angel

THEN:

The boys pass me around for good-byes, and soon I'm alone with Silas.

"Um, I'll shower in Nathan's bathroom, you can take the other one," I'm suddenly super nervous to be around him alone, especially after all the events of the day and night--sex education at school, then Twister, then Strip Poker, and the pool time...

"Are you sure, Aggelle mou?" Silas says with a knowing smile.

"Um, no, I mean yeah. Yes. I'm sure," I quickly turn and run to Nathan's room, closing the door behind me, my chest heaving, breathing hard.

I hear Silas chuckling, "I'll see you soon, angel," he calls.

I have a very strong feeling that the night is far from over. I have another strong feeling that I can't wait.

NOW:

I take the quickest shower, then spend an inordinate amount of time blow-drying my hair until it lies completely straight, sleek, and silky. I'm so anxious, so nervous, but also incredibly excited. I have no clue what I'm going to do once I leave the sanctuary of the bathroom and go face Silas.

I know that Silas is probably having some preeetttty high expectations right now, especially due to my scandalous behavior earlier. God--what was I thinking? The way my legs wrapped around Silas's waist, and I was exposed to him, pressing into him; a tingling, burning, aching sensation building and building... I'm not that girl! I'm not the girl who uses her body to tempt boys! But I was. I did. And I loved every single second.

Is that wrong? Am I a horrible person? I anxiously bite my lip. Good Lord, I'm over-thinking all of this. They each love me, and I love them. That's all that matters.

I smooth my hands down the front of my camisole. It's plain, and white, and has one of those built-in shelf bras, and I feel naked. Weird, because I was way less clothed only an hour ago. But that felt safer, for some reason, with all of them around. I knew that none of them would actually try anything with me--I wouldn't have to do anything, really--because there was safety in numbers. Now, I'm feeling a little exposed, a lot claustrophobic, and super tense knowing that it's just Silas and me, alone, all night...

I tie the drawstring of my blue plaid pajama pants tightly, as if they're a suit of armor or something; a flannel chastity belt. I need to just stop over-analyzing everything. I think too much, gather doubt, and it ruins my sanity. I know as soon as I actually see Silas, inhale his ocean scent, my worries will disappear. Probably. Hopefully.

Taking a deep breath, I pull open the bathroom door. I half expect to see Silas lying on Nathan's bed, bare, ready for action, but he's not in the bedroom.

Okay, relax. Keep breathing.

I step into the hallway, and make my way to the living room. The lights are off, but the fireplace is going, casting a fiery glow over the area. There's plenty of light to see, although everything casts an eerie shadow.

Silas is sitting on the couch, right in the center, with his legs out in front of him, arms casually resting on the back, wearing comfy grey sweatpants and a dark blue tanktop. His arms... I lick my lips. His olive skin glows in the flickering light from the fire, and he seriously could be a Greek God. Is he?

"Hi," I say quietly, nervously. Silas's head whips up and he immediately smiles warmly, his eyes sweep over my body, and I feel my cheeks flush with heat. God, why can't I be cool?

"Come here, little angel," he says in his deep, rich voice, but doesn't move a muscle. He's allowing me to make the choice: I get to decide how to act; I'm in control.