Insides

8. when something upsets you

8. when something that shouldn’t upset you upsets you and then you get upset that you’re upset about it

I wonder what’s mine?

Is all I own for me or am I just a place holder for who it was meant for?

Will l I have to wait forever in this silence for what was written out for me or do I keep hurting trying to find my way?

Will I be lost forever?

I hope not.

Am I the reason for the ones I Love’s sufferings?

Is it my fault I care?

Is anything real in this world?

What do I do?

All this is making me tired.
I’m becoming angry.
I’m becoming a monster by the day.
I guess that answer the question.
Chrissy monsters are not born they are made.

I am nothing not worth a dime.
There will always be something bigger then me.
There will always be a better version of myself.
It’s just a matter of time.

All my comfort can be taken from me.
At anytime, in anyway, there are a million possibilities for things to go wrong for me.

Things can get so bad that you’ll question.
You’ll question all you know.

Right and wrong.
Black and white.
Lies and truth.

Because confusion’s easy.
You’ll feel completely lost.
You’ll start to think.

You’ll miss all that has gone from you.
You’ll seek guidance.
And when you do seek it.
Seek it from Allah.

Allah understands everything.
Allah hears everything.
Allah sustains everything.

Allah is the greatest with him all is not lost.
His plan is the best plan.
Trust in your Allah he’ll not abandon you.

Allah is everything to us.
He is your everything.

We are not perfect.
He knows this and all he wants is our love and ibaadah.
We are imperfect not our religion.
This religion is a pure.
We are impure.

But he (Allah) understands this.
We don’t.
We have expectations and when it is not met we misunderstand it.
We misunderstand Allah’s plan.
We lack Allah’s wisdom.
We lack the knowledge of the unseen.

The angels, jinn and Allah knows the unseen that’s why the are free from committing sin.