Can I Get His Love?

61. Repay!

But if i disclose that, he will never agree for that. So i decided to tell that i still love sriram and iam unable to love him. I thought he will not agree for that, he will not allow me to undergo divorce. But i never expected him to say okay for divorce this early. May be because our fate is not to be together. Its my wish right to let him go.. But why these tears?? Why am i crying for him?? Why am i missing him?? I should let him go.. I should not cry because if i cry then he will doubt me. He wont leave me.

Time went like that. Sunrays started falling on my eyes from windows. I looked at clock to see that its already 6A.M. I stood and get ready and went to do prayer. After that i went to prepare breakfast.

I went to other room to look for rakesh but he is not inside that room. I went to our bedroom. But he is not there also. I knocked on bathroom. But no sound.. I opened to look it was empty.

I felt tense with worry. Where did he went??

I tried to call him. But his mobile was inside the room. I opened the maindoor and called for rakesh. I saw rakesh sleeping on the floor outside inbetween the pots of plants.

Looking at him like that, my heart clenched.

"Rakesh.. " my voice became muffled with tears.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked at me then at surroundings . He suddenly stood and looked at me again.

"what am i doi.." his words were left in middle of sentence. His eyes turned sad looking at me. He seems to remember what happened last night.

He stood and went inside leaving me over there.

I went inside and took his formals which are light brown shirt with black pant from his shelf and placed it on bed. I went to make coffee for him.

He came wearing pale green shirt with brown pants. He didnt wear the dress i kept on the bed. He never did like that even when he thought of me as stranger. But now he was hurt. I can feel it.

He is about to leave the house but i ran towards him and held his left wrist with my right hand.

He turned to look at me there is no emotion in them.

"coffee and breakfast are ready.. Have them. Iam preparing lunch box for u" i said.

He removed my hold and went out not looking at ne again.

Tears fell like that upon looking at him. Why does he have to be that much harsh. Before leaving, atleast we can live as friends right. Atleast for these last few days i want to collect as many memories as possible for me to spend my rest of life. But may be letting him be like that will be best.. Because he will start loving vaishali again early.

Through out the day, i was in my thoughts remembering all the beautiful memories i have with him. At evening rakesh came and sat on sofa.

I placed snacks on the table then went to get water bottle for him to drink.

Looking at him, his face looked stressful. He closed his eyes and supported his head with the edge of sofa. He started rubbing his forehead and started pulling his hair.

I couldnt stand still, looking at him suffering with headache. I went to get coconut oil bottle and went near him and stood infront of him. I pour some oil into the palm and started rubbing his scalp. He removed his hands from his fore head and moved his head towards me. He held my waist for support and placed his head on my abdomen. I felt shivers with his touch. But i controlled my self by taking few breaths and continued giving massage to his scalp.

After few minutes, he raised his head and looked in to my eyes. I looked in to his eyes still placing my hands on his head. We stared at eachother with out blinking. He pulled me slowly to sit on his lap. I was in trance state to realise what is happening with me. His hands moved from my waist to upwards.. He moved his head towards the crook of my neck and placed a small kiss on my neck. I moaned. He started moving his head towards the chin then onto the lips and suddenly he took bite of my lower lip. I was busy enjoying the pleasure, i couldnt be able to realise the present world. Without my knowledge my hands automatically went around his neck.

"Swetha.." he moaned in between his kisses.

"ra.. Rakesh" i said pulling his hair. He moaned.

He started moving his hands further upwards on to my chest and gave a gentle squeeze. I jerked and looked at him. His eyes filled with desire. I couldnt be able to look into his eyes. I cant live away from him. I love him. I want his love. I want to be his forever. He is mine.

He lifted me in bridal style and took me towards our bedroom and placed me on bed. I was looking into his eyes.. Nothing else. He came upon me and started kisisng me everywhere, where ever skin is visible.

My toes curled with all the pleasue and pulled him more towards me. I hugged him tightly. He turned making me lie upon him.  His hands surrounding my waist tightly.

"Swetha.. Say.. U love me" rakesh said in deep husky voice.

"say u love me swetha" he asked me again.

"ra.. Rakesh.. I.. I lo.." i closed my eyes and opened to look into his eyes. His eyes looked curious and with anxiety.

"say it.. Say that u always love me" he said with tears in his eyes.

I realised what iam doing.. In what position iam in. I immediately pushed him. And sat beside him adjusting my saree.

He too sat and lifted my chin.

"say it swetha.. I know u love me." rakesh asked me with worry and a little fear is there

"i love sriram" i said looking down.

"No.. U dont.. U love me.. If not, u shouldnt have done all the things which are needed for me." he said irritated.

"I care for u rakesh.. Its care.. Not love.."  i tried to reason my lie

"Say it looking in to my eyes" he said with the hope.

I took a long breath and looked at his eyes and said "i like you rakesh i care for you.. But i love sriram.. I only love my ram"

He removed his hands on me. He was hurt. Deeply hurt.

He went out leaving me like that. I sat folding my knees towards chest and hugged myself crying.

May be i should have let him fulfill his desires. May be i should have let him do what ever he wanted to do with me atleast for once which is the last.

I never was a perfect wife for him. Never will be. Vaishali will be perfect for him. Even his parents might agree vaishali, because they already are ok. As they hate me already, now it will be easy for them to accept vaishali. Yess.. That is the correct solution for everything.

I went to washroom and flushed my face with cold water.

After few hours rakesh came. I went near him and asked him to eat atleast dinner.

He opened his bag and removed a cover from the bag and gave it to me.

I looked at him confused while he looked at me with sad eyes and left to his room

I opened the cover to see few papers. I removed the papers to read.

Looking at them, my hands felt tremors. My voice felt dry. Tears filled my eyes looking them.

'Divorce agreement '

See.. Dont look at me with those congested eyes..

Swetha may seem to be stupid. But u know not every one will be alike.. So lets see.. Whats going to happen.

Okay in last update i havent asked u random question so.. Few of u are upset.. So here is my question..

What are the safety precautions to prevent infections?

U know iam asking u because it will make u read and rewrite so that u can remember and do follow.. As epidemic of covid 19 is still ongoing..

Anyways.. Meet u in next update..

Till then bubye..

Have a heartful smile always😊